Now

Some memories can't be captures with a photograph. They are spring breezes...
I feel their warmth, revel in their pleasure...
Yet, they are with me briefly...and they blow on...and I lack the power to keep them with me any longer.
Such are the memories...

~The sleepy peace in my pretzeled body as I wrap my arms around Benjamin each night and my legs around Maddie who curls at the foot of my bed in the wee hours of each morning.

~Gavin's habit of reading Benjamin a "good morning story" every day...every day.

~The pile of feathery brown baby hair I clean off the mattress after a night's rest. I put it to my cheek before I let it drift into the wastebasket.

~Maddie's lilting songs as she takes her time in the bathroom.

~Owen's clutches to his teddy bear with the well-loved, dangly arm and matted fur.

~The questions about Jesus and Heaven and the prayers for Daddy and a good day...and more snow.

~Benjamin's smiles-- the hold-nothing-back open-mouthed grins and the shy, bury-his-head-in-my-shoulder ones

~Gavin's furrowed brow as he fits the pieces of his Legos and the triumph as he succeeds.

~The cheeks, still sheet-creased, that are so kissable after a nap.

~The hands that are hungry to caress the baby, slip a letter in the slot, stir the pudding...

~The same hands that finger the dough when I'm not looking!

~Maddie's timid smile and shiny eyes when she whispers that she is in love with Daddy but can't marry him because he is already married to me!

I must memorize the moments while I still feel them...

Kristin