I'm not really cut out to be a mama of five.
I'm not a patient person. I like routines and schedules. I thrive on order and neatness.
To be a mama, I have to be patient. To be a mama, I have to accept the spontaneity of life with children. To be a mama, I have to accept a little mess. To be a mama, I have to come out of myself. I have to be willing to cry out praise to Him on the bad days, even if the bad days come one after another after another. I have to recognize that it is only by His grace that I do what I do.
I am not really cut out to be a mama, but I'm called to die to me because surely He knew what He was doing when He made me a mother!
I'm not a patient person. I like routines and schedules. I thrive on order and neatness.
To be a mama, I have to be patient. To be a mama, I have to accept the spontaneity of life with children. To be a mama, I have to accept a little mess. To be a mama, I have to come out of myself. I have to be willing to cry out praise to Him on the bad days, even if the bad days come one after another after another. I have to recognize that it is only by His grace that I do what I do.
I am not really cut out to be a mama, but I'm called to die to me because surely He knew what He was doing when He made me a mother!
That heaviest weight of all to bear,
Inalienable weight of care.
God harden me against myself,
This coward with pathetic voice
Who craves for ease and rest and joys
Myself, arch-traitor to myself;
My hollowest friend, my deadliest foe,
My clog whatever road I go.
My clog whatever road I go.
Yet One there is can curb myself,
Can roll the strangling load from me
Break off the yoke and set me free.
from "Who Shall Deliver Me?"
by Christina Rossetti
Whoa! What an awesome reminder.... I think Jesus is trying to tell me something. I just read a chapter in a book this afternoon about this VERY thing! :)
ReplyDeleteKristin
ReplyDeleteYou sound like me after Judah was born. It took me quite a while to come to a place where I felt at ease with 7 children.
He will give you all that you need to do this, because He most certainly has called you to do it.
Let it go. Embrace the 'messiness' that is Mothering Many!
*How I wish we did live close to you, not only for the Ocean, but mostly so we could be each other's real life cheerleaders :) GO KRISTIN!!!
( and maybe we'd attend the same church...with a membership of 16! )
Love Ya!
Kathi
May He keep strenghthening you and giving you what you need ♥
ReplyDeleteAnd I pray that you remember to reach out and open yourself to a sisterhood around you in your daily life ,so you'll know your not alone in this walk and to be encouraged.
In His love ,
Raya
This is so beautiful! He will give you the strength and wisdom you need. Thank you so much for visiting me and congratulations on your new little one!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this. It's a huge encouragement to me right now...
ReplyDeleteThanks you for this encouragement! I'm glad I'm not alone in trying to cast off the selfishness that can steal the joy of a mother.
ReplyDeleteHope you all are doing well today and that you'll be blessed with the peace you seek even inthe midst of chaos and noise.
thanks for sharing that. because I am not cut out for it either!! thankfully God says we are. and i'm so blessed to be a mommy of five, when so many wish they could be a mommy of even one.
ReplyDelete