3/4

Macie turned 9 months old yesterday.  She has been on the outside longer than I carried her inside.(She was born over two weeks "early" so she had a head start on life!)

She is no longer a skinny baby, struggling to maintain her weight.  At her well-check today she weighed 19 pounds, 10.5 ounces.

She is a mover. She speed-crawls through the house, finding and picking up all the teensy-tiny specks on the floor.  She pulls up and cruises around furniture so not much is out of her reach. 

She loves books, but finds paper books much more fascinating than board books.  If we can draw her away from those, her favorite books have pictures of babies or animals.  I enjoy reading her books that we saved from when the older kids were babies and toddlers.

She sleeps through the night or wakes up once to cuddle and nurse. (And on a rough night, sometimes she wakes up two or three times.)

She has three teeth and two more on the way.

She loves to eat.  We've practiced baby-led weaning from the beginning so she prefers to feed herself. The only food she has turned down is turnip greens.  She loves chicken, avocado, applesauce, carrots, green beans, oranges, beef, banana, chicken and rice soup, sweet potatoes, white potatoes, tomatoes, eggs, Cheerios, and bread. The recommendations have changed since my older kids were babies so Macie also enjoys a thin spread of natural peanut butter. Her absolute favorites, though, are pasta with meat sauce and broccoli!

She loves the bath but doesn't like to get dressed afterwards.  She loves music.  She loves, I mean loves, the vacuum cleaner.  She loves to screech and hear her own voice. She says "ma-ma" and "bye." She waves. She has a temper and doesn't like to be told no.  She doesn't like to sit still for a diaper change. She doesn't like her car seat straps. 

She is 3/4 of the way to a year!

Check Up and Check In

Life was a tad crazy in July.  Normally,  a busy schedule is out of my comfort zone and I crave days at home with quiet and order, but the kids and I have loved this summer of friends, outings, food, and activity.  We found a happy balance between fun and keeping the house (and our minds) in order.

Brian has had one of the busiest summer seasons on record which is a good thing for business but tiring at the same time.  He has managed to squeeze in some time for fun, though.

Some things were put on the back burner for a time and we declared it okay.  We ate a lot of sandwiches and meals on the go.  (One night we ate BLTs and everyone raved over it!  Go figure.) We ate out more than usual.  We read in the car instead of the couch. Macie learned to sleep in the ring sling. Blogging sort of stopped altogether.

This summer was about relationships, not rules and routine.  Here are some of things we did while I was away from the blog:

Macie had her 6-month check-up. 
She turned 6 months on July 10, but her appointment was scheduled later in the month.  She weighs 16 pounds 9.5 ounces, which places her in the 53rd percentile.  After struggling with weight gain as a newborn and then stabilizing around the 5th percentile for months, this is monumental! 

She is scooting forward and trying to crawl, but she can't figure out how to push up onto her hands and her knees at the same time. 

She started solid foods at 6 months, too.  We practice baby-led weaning so most of what she eats, she feeds herself, but I help if we are out or if it's going to be super messy.  For example, I let her eat homemade pasta sauce off of my finger rather than let her go at it with her own fingers.  Her favorite foods so far are broccoli and tomatoes.  

She wasn't impressed with cucumber, but from the looks of that photo, neither was I!

We took the kids to see The Secret Life of Pets at the theater.

My mom and sisters watched Macie so we didn't have to keep a baby happy...in the dark... in a seat... at nap time!  I love a movie theater experience.  Even movies I'd never watch at home (I'm a party pooper with animated movies.) are fun on the big screen!  

We spent a week of mornings at VBS. 
The kids had a blast!  They sang and crafted their way through the week.  They bonded with friends and made new ones.  The theme was "Submerged," featuring submarines and sea animals, and it focused on diving deep into God's word. 

Gavin assisted during recreational time.  He was part of a team of two adults and three teen guys. During their break, they had a time of Bible study and fellowship together.

Last year, I helped in the kindergarten class which was okay.  This year I worked at registration and loved every minute of it.  It satisfied all of my organizational needs. I was also surprised at how much I enjoyed greeting all the kids and parents each day, getting to know them, and learning their names. Macie was a trooper and napped in the sling each morning, sleeping through all the commotion around us.  When she woke up mid-morning, she smiled and visited with a variety of people and became special friends with anyone who would give her Cheerios.

I was particularly happy she kept up with naps because we had several afternoon/evening activities that week, too.  One day we went swimming at a friend's pool with a large group of friends.  Some of us continued the party at a new local pizza shop for dinner. Another evening, a friend grilled hot dogs and the rest of us brought sides.  The kids played basketball and hide-and-seek outside while the adults chatted on the deck. 

On the Sunday following VBS, we had a church picnic with a 14-foot water slide and snow cones.  It was 95 degrees, but we had a fantastic time.  Two of my kids ate four snow cones apiece and I didn't mind a bit.  Maybe that's because I ate three myself!  

I neglected to get any photos of the event, but Brian got this one of the teenagers helping to roll the air out of the water slide when the picnic was over.

We're watching the third season of The Great British Baking Show on our local PBS channel. 

There hasn't much extra time for TV, but we got hooked when season 1 was still available on Prime.  It's been a fun way to unwind once a week.   It's renewed the kids' interest in the kitchen, too.  Owen wants to be a baker when he grows up so he and Maddie made starfish sugar cookies for their class at VBS and chocolate chip cookies for movie night at church.


Gavin went to 3-D Printing camp.
All my boys have been fascinated with 3-D printing since they learned that Lego prototypes are often printed this way. When we found out about a local camp...and when Gavin received a scholarship to attend...he jumped at the chance. Gavin is a man of few words these days, but we chatted about it every day on the drive home. Some people say the best time to talk with teenagers is late at night, but our sweet spot is while we're riding. 

Maddie turned 12! 
Birthday season has begun at our house.  We have 4 birthdays and an anniversary in a 5-week span. 

Maddie didn't have a party to celebrate, but our friends' 15th wedding anniversary was the same day so we invited their kids to eat with us so they could go out to dinner alone.

We put candles on our ice cream dessert and the kids played a very loud and competitive game of hot potato so I think we turned it into a party after all.

Other highlights of our summer:

• several birthday parties
• a library event where every kids who attended took home a bagged lunch  (My homeschool children were beyond thrilled at the typical school lunch fare.)
• a community theater production of Mary Poppins which has inspired Maddie to try out for a fall show
• a minor league baseball game
• a cool, rainy 4th of July cookout where the kids got to play in the rain
• a fireworks show on the warmer, sunnier 5th of July

We start school on Wednesday and I am sad to say good-bye to our carefree summer.  It's taking a lot of discipline to buckle down and not extend our summer by a few weeks, but I always keep August flexible anyway and I'll be thanking myself in January when we are able to take the month off. 

Dairy-free Mom

I've been {almost} dairy-free for over a month now.  (More on the almost later in this post.) I went dairy-free in an effort to reduce the symptoms of Macie's silent reflux. You can read the details of our story here, but the short version is that she rarely spit up so she went un-diagnosed for weeks, but we finally put all the pieces together (inconsolable crying for hours every day, nasal congestion when waking, frequent hiccups) and realized she was suffering from reflux.  Initially medication helped, but I found that eliminating dairy was even more effective.  We weaned her off the medication before determining that a combination of my dairy-free diet and her medication gave her the best relief.  She is essentially weaning herself off of the medication again, though, since her dosage is not changing even as she goes through a rapid growth spurt.

I have received a handful of questions about going dairy-free, both personally and online, and I thought it may be helpful to address them here.

What exactly does it mean to be dairy-free?
It means not eating dairy products like milk, yogurt, sour cream, cheese, ice cream, and butter.  It also means avoiding whey and casein.  I've found, though, that Macie can tolerate if I eat small amounts of butter. Chocolate is usually okay, too.  To be safe, I buy Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips which are dairy-free.  (They do contain soy which I would prefer to avoid for other reasons, but I'm choosing to pick my battles!)

Do you think it is helping? I do. At first I was convinced it was the sole answer to our problem.  Then Macie had another week of increased irritability, not as severe as in the beginning but not "normal."  We decided to begin her medication again and the combination of the altered diet and the meds seems to be the answer.  Before going dairy-free, we could barely make it until the next dose, but now there are times when I  miss giving her a dose and she is fine.  Reflux typically peaks at four months so she may be beginning to outgrow it anyway, but there was such a dramatic change when I stopped eating dairy, that we have no doubt it is playing a part in her recovery.

How long will you avoid dairy products? 

Dairy sensitivity in babies is usually short-term.  Often by the time their immune systems are mature enough to tolerate solid foods (around six months), their tummies are capable of digesting milk protein again. I plan to avoid dairy through the summer.  By September, Macie will be eight months old and I will try adding dairy back into my diet.  I've read that a gentle way to do that is to eat a small portion of dairy one day, wait two days before eating a bit more, and then gradually increase the amount and the frequency.  In other words, no matter how much I may crave pizza, it would not be the way to begin!

Does your family eat dairy-free also?

When I plan dinner, I only choose to prepare dairy-free dishes or ones that allow the cheese, sour cream, etc. to be added by the individual. I do not keep a dairy-free house so everyone is welcome to prepare and eat what they want for breakfast and lunch.

Every Sunday, I'm sharing our menu for the coming week on my blog Facebook page.  It's dairy-free and can be done without turning on the oven!  For more details, click here, and then go on over to Facebook Sunday evening to see the menu for the week.  (This week's menu is already there.)

Do you find it hard to eat this way?

Telling myself this is temporary helps. I think it would be harder if I thought I needed to make a permanent change.  Finding things to eat has not been difficult.  I read labels and have to avoid some packaged foods, but sticking primarily to whole foods-- veggies, fruit, meat-- takes the guess work out of the process.

What do you miss?

I have never been a milk drinker, but I do love ice cream and butter.  I also ate a fair amount of Greek yogurt for snacks before I made the change.  The thing I miss most, though, is pizza.  I have one child who prefers pizza without cheese so one night in April when we needed to order out at the last minute, he and I shared a cheese-less pizza, his half plain, my half with chicken and spinach.  It was good, but I greatly missed the cheese!

So what do you eat for breakfast and lunch?

I'm eating a lot of steel-cut oatmeal, because I love it and because it is good for nursing moms.  I use this method which can be prepared one-handed.  Plus it only takes a minute of hands-on (or hand-on) work and the grains are soaked to perfection. Scrambled eggs or hard-boiled eggs are good, seasoned with salt and pepper.  I am also eating copious amounts of natural peanut butter.  For lunch, my favorite thing to prepare when there are no leftovers is a skillet dish of chicken, diced red potato, and broccoli.  I cook it with a little olive oil and salt and pepper, and it is delicious.  I also make a similar dish with chicken, sweet potato, and quinoa. 

Can you eat lactose-free treats?
In our case, lactose isn't the problem.  Babies with milk sensitives are usually bothered by the milk protein.

Are there dairy substitutes you can eat?

I keep a container of almond milk in the refrigerator for cereal, baking, or the occasional cup of hot chocolate. I also discovered that Ben and Jerry's makes several vegan "ice cream" flavors with almond milk.  I was skeptical, but the one I tried was a great treat. 

Wouldn't it be easier to switch Macie to formula?  

Actually, no.  Even if eating dairy-free was difficult for me, giving her infant formula would not be a simple option.  Because of her milk sensitivity, she would need to be on a more-expensive hypoallergenic formula.

31 Days, 31 Smiles {Day 3}: Shapes For Lunch

I get into a rut when fixing lunches.  Lunch is such a boring meal.  My kids, however, are easy to impress.  

I make lunch more fun by making it visual.   

No, I don't mean I create one of those intricate food designs you see on Pinterest where someone has made an beautiful flower with flower petals cut from a sandwich, cucumbers cut into leaves, and thin strips of celery for the stem.  That would make me lose my cool times five!  

No...my go-to, don't-have-to-think-about-it method is to serve a shapes lunch. 


Cheese can be cut into diamonds, triangles, or squares...
Grapes, tomatoes, carrots, bananas, cucumbers, or blueberries make easy circles...
Sandwiches make squares, rectangles, or  triangles...
Apple or orange slices are half-moons. 

Another far-too-easy way to make lunch more fun is to cut out a sandwich with a cookie cutter.  A peanut butter and jelly butterfly or a ham and cheese train is always better than a plain sandwich.

a Bob and Larry sandwich

Sometimes the kids get in on the action, too!

a house made of cheese

How Do You...Introduce Solids?

How do you introduce solids to your babies and how do you encourage them to eat when they don't seem to be interested in solids at all?  (My 10.5-month-old son still won't eat more than a couple of tiny bites.)                                     

submitted by Suanna

My philosophy for introducing solids is similar to my philosophy on lots of things (like homeschooling and cleaning):

Keep it simple and don't pressure yourself (or your child)! 

Breastfed babies do not need any supplementation, including solid foods, until at least six months of age, but I found that neither of my babies was ready to begin solids until seven or eight months old...or even longer.  Owen was over a year old before he ate more than a few bites at a time.  Neither of my kids ate three meals a day until after their first birthdays.

I do not use jarred baby food, but I do not spend time making my own homemade baby food either.  By the time I offer bites to my babies, they are able to handle a mashed or soft version of what we are enjoying.  Grabbing food or trying to take over your spoon does not necessarily mean a baby wants to eat-- babies like to put everything in their mouths-- but it may mean he is ready to experiment with a new flavor.   Try a bite of sweet potato or a nibble of carrot and see what happens.  If he loves it, wonderful!  If not, no stress!  A baby will eat when he is developmentally ready. 

If you feel it is necessary to get your baby to eat more, try a variety of flavor and texture to see what appeals to him.  My babies thought it was fun to be handed a ripe peach and be allowed to suck and chew and drool to their heart's content.  Try slices of banana or hand him a whole one (while you supervise).  You may be surprised at what your baby likes if he's offered.  My youngest loved bites of onion when she was only 9-10 months old! 

How did you introduce solids to your baby?  Let us know in the comments.

Also, if you have a question for a future "How Do You...?" post, share that in the comments, too, or send me an e-mail! I'd love to hear from you. 

A Milestone of Sorts

Every single day of the past ten years I have been either pregnant or nursing or both.  That's something worth noting, don't you think?!

click photo to enlarge

Her Plate

Six months ago, Alaine and I were in a nursing crisis.  She fought me every time I tried to nurse her, but yet she cried to be fed.  We never had to resort to supplementation (though I did wonder whether we'd eventually need to), but after weeks and weeks of nursing struggles, she moved into a stage of acceptance, and finally the stage she is in now: the stage of total dedication.  She asks to nurse many times in the daytime hours-- when she's bored, when she's tired, when she's thirsty, when she's nervous, when she's hurt.  You get the picture.  She sleeps well, though, and only wakes to nurse once (or none at all) in the middle of the night.  (Don't hate me.  She is the first baby I've had who has almost consistently slept through the night before 18 months.) 

When she went for a well visit at 7 1/2 months, her pediatrician asked if she was eating any solid food.  I've never used jarred baby food and since Alaine had not shown any interest in table food, I told him that no, she was still exclusively nursing.  A few days later, I was eating a banana and she practically wrestled it from my hand and into her mouth, but she was not overly impressed.   At 8 1/2 months old, Alaine was still content to nurse and maybe sample a nibble or two of banana a couple of times a week. 

And then something snapped.

Suddenly, she wanted it all.  Banana?  She needed it!  Peaches?  She wanted that, too.  Oatmeal?  Yes, please!  Tomato?  Rice?  Cole slaw?  Yes, yes, yes.  Admittedly, I threw the conventional "1 new food every 3 days" advice soaring out the window. She could not get enough.  Between every bite, she cried (literally) for more.  

Healthy eating at its best...or not.

Alaine will be 11 months old on Monday.  She now eats three meals a day in my lap.  We gave away our big highchair before Benjamin was born so he used a booster in a chair at the table.  I have been reluctant to monopolize a chair this time around so I put off taking that step and simply hold her while we all eat together.  Our toddlers usually move to their own seat at the table between 15-18 months old anyway so it should be short-lived. 

At breakfast, Alaine usually eats from my plate, but I fix her a separate plate at lunch and dinner.  I feed her the messy stuff, but she can capably handle finger foods, and she is beginning to use a spoon, too. These are Alaine's  before and after plates from a meal we had last week.  (Her plate is a small dessert-sized plate.)

Before:  half of a twice-baked potato, diced raw tomato, 3 small pieces baked chicken, diced peaches and pears

After: potato skin, 1 small piece of baked chicken

For such a big eater, she is still the smallest baby I've had, weighing in at about 18 pounds.  (Owen was 18 pounds at 2 months-- no kidding!) 

One last thing: I tried introducing a sippy cup about the same time she began eating voraciously, but she couldn't get the hang of it so I put it away in the cabinet for awhile.  (I made sure she was getting enough fluids through nursing.)  Around 10 months, I tried the sippy again and she caught on right away.  Now she sucks down her water almost as enthusiastically as she eats her meals!  

 

What are your baby's eating habits?

Woman to Woman: Breastfeeding, Pt. 4

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)


My (Current) Story

Until Alaine came along I had never had a baby who refused to nurse, but Alaine will happily sail through her day, fighting the urge to nurse until she is super-hungry or super-tired.  She will indicate that she wants to nurse, but then cry and pull away if I try.  There are times when I worry and think, "If I switched her to a bottle, I wouldn't have to wonder if she is getting enough to eat."  But I've refused to let that be an option for me.  Supplementing her will only start the slippery slope of interventions that are hard to pull up from once they are started. As long as she continues to wet her diaper and as long as she has no other way of gaining calories, I know she will nurse when she is hungry!

Last month, though, we reached a crisis point in our nursing relationship.  She began  refusing to nurse at all.  When she was hungry, I'd attempt to feed her and she would scream and arch her back.  It puzzled me and I began to think through the possible causes. 

Could it be that my supply is lacking and  I don't have enough milk to feed her?  No, because the milk is there. It's just that she won't drink it.  (Her resistance lasted close to a month and at the peak, my supply did go down, but it was a result, not a cause.)

Could it be that she is having digestive issues?  No, because she is not fussy any other time and she is sleeping well.  She is not gassy or uncomfortable.

I worried and prayed and worried some more until one morning I changed her diaper and noticed that her poop was greenish in color.  I remembered reading that green poop in breastfed babies often means that they are receiving too much foremilk  and not enough of the fattier hindmilk.  It made sense since usually, I was only able to convince Alaine to nurse for a minute (literally) and she never nursed long enough to reach the hindmilk, and though she was still plump and developing well, her weight gain had plateaued. 

So...I still didn't have a cause of the resistance and striking, but I did have a mission, and that was to get her to nurse long enough to ingest the rich hindmilk.  It proved a tough challenge.  The only way I found to nurse her was to nurse her standing up!  Also, though it seemed to be counterintuitive, I found that spacing out her nursings helped because when she was very hungry, she was more willing to take it seriously.  For days and days, I nursed her standing up.  At night, I could no longer nurse her lying down either.  It was exhausting,, both physically and emotionally, but it worked.  Gradually, I noticed her diapers were wetter and her gulps noisier.  In the first 6 days of my experiment, she gained 14 ounces. 

I never did figure out why nursing in a standing position was the answer because her position never changed.  I still held her in a cradle position with her tummy against mine.  Possibly, she liked the movement and rocking when I was upright.  I don't know, but slowly, slowly, I was able to transition back into sitting down to nurse.  First it was once a day...and then about fifty percent of the time...and now, we nurse sitting down most of the time. 

At five months old, Alaine is still exclusively breastfed, but she doesn't always make it easy.  She nurses in quick bursts and I have to be proactive to ensure that she is eating enough.  She prefers that I am sitting up (though not always standing up) and she wiggles constantly.  

Still, the rewards are endless.

Woman to Woman: Breastfeeding, Pt. 3

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
 
Nursing Problems

1. What can I do if my supply dips?
   
   Thankfully, I have not had a lot of experience with  low milk supply. If the low supply is caused my the body's inability to produce enough milk, I have no advice to offer, but if the low supply is a result of busy baby or busy mama, I have a few practical tips:
   • Drink lots of water and get adequate nutrition.  Seems simplistic, but supply can be affected if you are not providing your body with what it needs to make milk. 
   • If your baby is older consider limiting your baby's solid food for a time.  Use common sense, but if the baby is hungry, he will nurse...and if he nurses, your supply will increase again. 
   • Encourage your baby to nurse for a few minutes even when you are busy and even when he doesn't seem overly interested.  Even short bursts of nursing can help reestablish a lacking supply.
     
     
2. What kinds of problems have you had with nursing?  What did you do?
   
   I nursed Gavin from birth with never a problem.  It was too easy.  Then  Maddie came 20 months later and within days of her birth, I woke up in the night shaking uncontrollably.  The next day I was achy and miserable...and dealing with my first case of mastitis.  I've since had mastitis at least seven more times and seem to be rather prone to it.  I've had the range of symptoms-- fever, chills, aches, generalized pain, and headache.  Though mastitis can clear up on its own, I've generally had to resort to antibiotics to get any relief at all.  Wicked stuff!
   
   Then there were the milk blisters when I was nursing Benjamin.  Google it if you must, but let's just say it was no fun and extremely painful.  Turns out, mine were a result of thrush.  I continued to nurse while gritting my teeth and the condition healed with no medical treatment.
   
   I also dealt with tongue tie when Benjamin was born.  I wrote about it in detail here.  In our case, he was able to latch properly and nurse well.  He was gaining weight and thriving, but I was in excruciating pain so we chose to have his tongue clipped. 
   
   I am currently being challenged by a very reluctant nurser, but I'll save that story for Part 4.

Woman to Woman: Breastfeeding, Pt. 2

(Part 1) 

Touchy Topics

1. Did sleeping with your nursing newborn make it harder for you later?  How did you get your babies to wean during the nighttime hours?
   
   
   We've all heard stories about the 10-year-old who sleeps in his parents' bed and can't sleep on his own and the parents who wish they had never started sleeping with him as a baby because now they don't know what to do.  I will admit I worried about that when we pulled Gavin into our bed in our  sleep-deprived first weeks of parenting, but adequate rest was worth the risk to me.  Having nursed and weaned four children and successfully (and gently) moved them out of my bed, I'm here to tell you it can be done...and before age ten, too!  I chose to enjoy the newborn night snuggles and save the night training for later.
   
   
   Night weaning is  a struggle for me only because I love my sleep and it takes a little bit of work to move a baby out of my bed.    I have to be really ready to tackle the issue to be willing to lose sleep, but when they become toddlers and wiggly disruptive sleepers, I get down to business.  (Either that or my husband says, "I'm tired of feet in my back.  Please teach him to sleep!")
   
   
   We typically wait until our kids are about 18 months because they seem to be able to understand a little better when we say, "No," or, "Wait until morning."  I'm sure you could attempt it at a younger age, but 18 months worked for me.  Gavin was our toughest because I tried to night-wean him  and train him to sleep through the night, but still keep him in our bed.  When I night-weaned Maddie, Owen, and Benjamin, I moved them to a crib mattress on the floor by my bed at the  same time.  (We don't even own a crib anymore!) 
   
   
   We kept the same going-to-sleep routine, but when the baby woke in the middle of the night, I would say, "No, we are going to wait until morning."  Not being used to the lack of  night snacking, the baby cried, so I would lay down with him on the mattress so he didn't feel alone or rejected.  (I'm a softy.)  Sometimes, if he just couldn't settle down, I would nurse once, but it would be on the baby's new mattress bed.  The first 3-4 nights were frustrating and long...and then the baby suddenly began sleeping through the night without waking and without eating.  It was just a matter of breaking the habit.  Once the baby knew he couldn't nurse, it wasn't worth waking.  We wait until closer to 2 to actually move an all-night-sleeper to their own (or siblings') room.  Benjamin was our only exception.  He was younger, but ready.  
   
   
2. Have you ever used bottles or pacifiers?
   
   Neither of my kids has ever used a bottle, but a few of them have had a pacifier.  I've gone back and forth on how I feel about them (pacifiers, not my children!). Gavin was extremely fussy and agitated in the car so I waited until nursing was well-established and introduced a pacifier at around a month of age.  We limited it to the car and sometimes offered it at bedtime, too. Around a year of age, we lost the only pacifier we had left and he gladly gave it up without a fuss.   Maddie had a similar story, but she began to refuse the paci by 11 months.  
   
   For various reasons, when Owen and Benjamin were babies, I decided not to offer a pacifier at all, but I had another change of heart when I was pregnant with Alaine.  With four other little ones in the house, I decided I needed something to offer when she was fussy and I wasn't able to nurse her right away.  We did not wait the recommended 3 weeks, but introduced it to her at 2 days old.  I felt confident enough in my nursing abilities to correct her latch if she had trouble transitioning between breast and pacifier.   In fact, I did hold back the pacifier for a day or two in the first weeks when she tended to fall asleep with it and not want to wake to eat.  At four months, though, breastfeeding is firmly established and the pacifier is our welcome tool for the  between-times. 
   
   
3. My baby is 11 months old and my cycles haven't returned.  Did you experience this? Is this normal? 
   
   
   "Normal" is so different for each mama.  The return of a regular cycle depends on how often you nurse, how often (or if) you nurse at night, your own hormone balance and metabolism.  My own "normal" has been anywhere from 8-16 months, but I've known women who see a return to menstruation at 4 months and others who don't see it for over 2 years!

Woman to Woman: Breastfeeding, Pt. 1

Having nursed four babies to toddlerhood and currently nursing another wee one, I have received multiple  questions from multiple women via e-mail regarding breastfeeding.  I love to share what I've learned through my eight years of mothering.  (Eight years exactly, today.) Instead of relying on magazines and books and doctors, how wonderful when mothers can seek help from other mothers. 

This is my humble attempt at answering some of the questions I have received.  I'm breaking it into three separate posts, in an effort to keep it simple and organized.  Please, if you have a question, consider leaving it in the comments or tuck it into my inbox and I will gladly add the answer to one of my posts.

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

Nursing the Older Baby  

1. How do you breastfeed in public?  
   
   
   I've never had problems nursing my children while out and about.  When Gavin was a tiny infant, I tried covering up with a blanket to nurse, but that seemed to draw unnecessary attention to what I was doing.  He usually pulled the blanket down or got agitated and I would get flustered and he would pull away...so I decided to learn to nurse discreetly without a cover-up. There are times, though, when it is easier or more comfortable to find a secluded place to nurse. 
   
   I know there are women who think it is indecent to breastfeed in public and there are other women who think they should breastfeed in public to show the nursing is a natural relationship between mother and child.  I don't have a point to prove either way.  I just do what is right for the situation.  Alaine is not one of those every-hour frequent nursers  (I have had a few of those babies, though!) so I've not had the opportunity to nurse her in many places other than the car between stores or friends' homes, but when the need arises (like when we were at a 2-hour performance of the Nutcracker ballet), if I act nonchalant and continue conversation with my husband and other kids', the casual observer thinks I'm simply snuggling my baby.
   
   
2. When do you start solids?
   
   I have chosen to follow these general guidelines: 
   • wait until Baby is at least 6 months old
   • wait until Baby can sit unsupported
   • wait until Baby is interested in food  (not only in putting things in his mouth)
     
   That being said, my children have begun solid foods anywhere between 7 and 10 months old.  It is a no-pressure, fun affair. Breast milk contains all the nutrients they need until past a year old so if Baby is happy, I am happy.  (For a more extensive post on how I handle solids, click here.)
   
   
3. What do you do when (s)he turns 1?
   
   
   Just keep nursing!  Formula-fed babies switch to whole milk around the year mark, but my breastfed babies are free to nurse as long as we both are happy.  In fact, though my 2-year-old weaned around 19 months,  he only drinks cow's milk on occasion.  When my babes turn 1, we simply continue on as before, gradually introducing solids and nursing when needed.  
   
   Maybe because I'm usually pregnant by then...or maybe just because...somewhere around 18 months, I prefer to night-wean and teach my babies to sleep all the way through the night without the comfort snacking.  I've found that, though it is a struggle for a night or two, they are more easily weaned and trained at this age than when they are younger.

Six Round Our Table

It began as a bite here, a lick there. A nibble of Daddy's banana...then no more for a week. A suck of juicy peach...then a return to Mama's milk. Testing. Trying. Experiencing.
Then food began to taste good. Really good. Mama could no longer follow the "introduce new food every three days" rule as you were tempted by new taste treats at most every meal.
Nothing pureed for you, no sir! You inhaled chunks of broccoli, carrots, squash, onions, and roasted peppers. You devoured plums, blueberries, papayas, melons, and strawberries. You sampled shreds of chicken and beef, peas, cheese, yogurt, rice, pasta. Glorious flavor!
And while Mama still enjoys the snuggling and sharing at day-time meals, Daddy suggested you move to a chair and have your own plate for our nightly family dinnertime.
Welcome to our table, Benjamin.

Mama

First

"What?! There is more to life than nursing?"

"Intriguing. Maybe I'll give it a try."

"Whoa! That was not at all what I expected!"

"Now that I'm used to it, it's not so bad. But, please, no more for awhile!"

NOTE: What a joy it has been to delay solids for Benjamin (and all of our babies) and watch him discover food on his own!

Kristin

A New Adventure in Breastfeeding

I've always had a fairly easy time nursing my babies. Sure, I had some soreness when I nursed my first. And I did have mastitis when Maddie was an infant and I was tandem nursing two. (It is hard to not become engorged when you have that much milk!) However, I've never had real difficulties until Ben was born.

After we brought Benjamin home from the hospital, I noticed that he had a hard time latching on. The bit of soreness I developed in the hospital became extreme pain while nursing him. I used Lansinoh which helped slightly but not nearly enough. I started noticing that his tongue looked a little funny. My suspicions were confirmed when we visited the pediatrician to have Ben's cord clamp removed when he was four days old. The doctor pointed out that Ben had a short frenulum, also known as tongue tie. The piece of skin that connects the underside of the tongue to the mouth was too short, making him unable to stick out his tongue to get a proper latch. The pediatrician assured me that he would probably outgrow it, and as long as he was gaining weight (he was!) and I was not having pain with nursing (hmmm!), we could let it go for now. He added that some people feel it is better to not have their babies go through the trauma of having the problem corrected when formula is an option.

I went home and promptly did my own research. I found out that the tongue clipping procedure is actually very simple and almost painless to small babies. As a child grows, the frenulum gets tougher and therefore, more painful to cut. I also read a list of reasons to go ahead with a clipping as opposed to waiting it out. Several-- poor latch, pain while nursing, and making a "V" shape with the tongue while crying-- fit our situation.

Having successfully nursed my older three children, formula or bottles was not an option for me. But the pain continued to get worse until I was in tears at the beginning of each nursing session. I finally broke down and called the pediatrician's office and told them I wanted Ben's tongue clipped. They were very nice about it and referred me to an Ear, Nose, and Throat Specialist who gave me an appointment for 4 LONG, PAINFUL DAYS AWAY! Deciding to make the best of it and realizing the problem was a poor latch, I worked with him to latch better and the pain did decrease.

Yesterday, was the big day. The ENT doctor quickly agreed that we needed to clip his tongue. Ben slept through the beginning when the doc was examining him and applying a topical anesthetic. He whimpered when the doctor actually made the cut, but that was more from being woken from his nap then from pain. As soon as the cut was made and they made sure there wasn't excessive bleeding (there wasn't-- just a spot of blood), I was able to nurse him. Wow! What a difference. I am still having to be patient with Ben as he re-learns his latch, but my pain is almost gone! I am so thankful I did my own research and decided to have this done.

Feeding Babies and Toddlers

We have a firm no "real food" policy until after 6 months. I know the pediatricians recommend starting cereal, etc. at 4 months, but I don't see the point. Most babies don't have a bit of interest in eating at that age. It's just fun for the Mommy. I admit, I've been tempted. (My scrapbooking mind knows that my baby propped up in his highchair taking the first bite would a great picture!) We also eschew popular trends and have yet to use a bottle (even for expressed milk) with any of our babies. Of course, we're asked, "Then how do you and hubby get a night out if no one can feed the baby but you?" The answer: We can't and we don't...at least not until they are old enough to be content with something besides Mama's milk. So here's a look at our children's eating habits from birth through toddlerhood.

We start out with exclusive breastfeeding. No formula supplements, no water, no pacifiers. Our first two did take a paci when they were several months old (after b/f was firmly established) but both gave it up before a year. We chose never to offer Owen a paci at all. I always read about how breastfed babies need to eat every 2-3 hours. If I were only so lucky. Mine always eat at least once an hour in the beginning. Makes it hard to even take a shower. I became quite skilled at folding laundry while nursing, but that is beside the point! We also co-sleep with our babies so they nurse often at night, too.

At four months, the pressure is on. The doctor starts suggesting solids, the strangers start asking...but we resist. Gavin didn't take his first bite of anything until 7 months, but hated it! He didn't start eating a regular meal until 10 months old. Maddie was also 7 months when she had her first solids and she liked to eat right away. She has never been picky. She's my child who will try anything. She loves to eat-- even crumbs off the floor and any stray bite Owen leaves in his bowl! Owen was closer to 8 months when we offered him his first solids.

We have never used baby cereal. Sometimes I will grind own oatmeal and use that mixed with water or breastmilk. Usually, I just offer fruits and veggies, though. Anything soft and smushy will do. I've never bought jarred baby food either. Maybe I'm too thrifty. Maybe the jarred stuff just turns me off. I don't know. I've just never even considered buying it. I bought a baby food mill with Owen (for $9.99 at Toys 'R Us) that was great.

It grinds any soft food (bananas, beans, peaches, etc.) into baby food consistency (with better taste!). It's not a big deal because I just give the baby some of what we're eating. I don't have to cook a "baby meal" every night. Occasionally, if I grind extra of something, I will freeze it in an ice cube tray and thaw a bit for baby if I don't think they will like what we are eating.

Since we start solids so late, it isn't long before our children are ready for something beyond puree. Cheerios, bread, cheese cubes, shreds of chicken...

I continue to nurse through this time. The nursing do get spaced out, but I have frequent nursers. Because we never introduce a bottle, we go straight to sippy cups. We offered Gavin water in a sippy cup sometime in his second six months. He had his first juice at about a year. Maddie didn't drink anything besides breastmilk until a year. Owen was the same way, but he never could figure out how to use a sippy cup so we taught him to use a cup and straw.

So how about those dates with hubby? For awhile, we are content with dates with baby. It is not that hard to take a nursing baby out. Pop him/her in the sling and they are content. Eventually, the kids are ready to spend a few hours with Gran and Papa (and Aunts Kati and Bekah). It really depends more on emotional stability than nutritional needs. Gavin and Maddie were 8 and 6 months respectively. Owen didn't get left alone without Mama and Daddy until 10 months old...and that was after he was asleep for the night.

I practice extended breastfeeding so nursing continues into toddlerhood. It definitely takes a backseat to table food, though. Everyone is expected to sit with the family at meal times. No getting out of your seat when you're done. That is hard to enforce with 18-month-olds (ours have all rejected the highchair not long after their first birthdays), but it is necessary for good long-term habits.

I'm not saying my ways are the only ways. That's just the way we have chosen--the way that works for us. Happy eating!