1, 2, 3: a Weekend Recap

a pictorial look at our weekend

1  We got the weekend started on Valentine's Day morning with a special family breakfast.  I posted a menu the night before and the kids were so excited that one of them told me the next morning, "I had such a hard time going to sleep last night, it felt like Christmas Eve!"

The most anticipated taste treat of the morning was The Pioneer Woman's Chocolate-Covered Cherry Smoothies. 

The three oldest designed their own Valentine's to hand out at breakfast.  I printed out Valentine paper airplanes for the boys.  Alaine was thrilled to tear open the cellophane from a box and discover three miniature chocolates inside.

After the dishes were cleared, we gathered back at the table for a regular school day.  Ben asked if we could take off for the holiday and I had to convince him that we could work through this sort of holiday.

2  On Friday afternoon, Brian and I had the opportunity to go out while my sisters came over to share dinner and watch movies with my kids.  It was a win-win for everyone (except maybe Aunt Kati who was persuaded to watch Despicable Me 2 after dinner).

We got to eat a steak dinner and do a bit of shopping alone.  Our best "find" of the night was a basket large enough to hold the pile of throw blankets and the 7 Snuggis that have camped out in the corner of my living room throughout this long cold winter.

The group left behind at our house made their own pizzas with heart-shaped pepperonis and snacked on white chocolate dipped pretzels. They had a festive table, set with the Valentine napkin rings that the kids made the day before.  I neglected to get an "after" photo of their handiwork, though. 

3 Saturday dawned early.  Not bright, but early. It was a cloudy cool gray day, but Brian and I were registered for a 2-mile race and we weren't about to miss it. 

I shared after my last race how I set 2-tiered goals for myself:  a primary, attainable goal that I'll share beforehand if anyone asks and a more ambitious goal that I keep to myself.  My primary goal today was to complete the race with a faster time than this same race last year. I knew I could do that easily since last year's race was the first race I had ever entered and I needed to stop to walk for parts of the course. My more ambitious goal was to complete the course in between 16 and 17 minutes.

It started to drizzle as we set off from the starting line, but it was light and mercifully, it was calm with no wind. I ran my hardest and crossed the finish line with a time of 16:35!  (That's the official race time, though my watch calculated 16:47.  Either way, I met my goal!)

Brian worked hard for this race, too.  Though his job keeps him physically active and in shape, he had to train before feeling ready to run 2 miles without stopping.  On Thursday, he came down with a head cold and thought he might end up needing to walk instead or drop out altogether, but he persevered and ran the whole course.  I'm proud of him! 

What did you do this weekend?  My Sunday plans are far less ambitious.  I plan to catch up on sleep and then spend a relaxing afternoon at my parents' house before beginning another whirlwind week of school, several lunch invitations, a return to the kids' homeschool gym class, and continued half-marathon training. 

12 Years

Perspectives on Life and Love

Today Brian and I celebrate our anniversary. 
~Eleven years on the eleventh.~ 
In honor of our special day, I'm linking to

♥Our Love Story ♥

 

This post is linked to Anne @ the Modern Mrs. Darcy.

Tri-Moms: Romancing Your Husband

This week the Tri-Moms discuss Romancing Your Husband.  Back in November when we were selecting topics for the coming season, we settled on the first February topic (Frugal Date Ideas) and then someone suggested rounding out the love month with Romancing Your Husband.  There was some discussion as to how this topic was different than the first until one of us said, "Romancing your husband is more than the things you do together.  It is letting him know that he is still the man you love." 

engaged!

Brian and I met almost half of my life ago.  (I was sixteen and I turn thirty-two this year.)  We went on our first date thirteen years ago, we got engaged eleven years ago, and we've been married for ten-and-a-half years.   While we've also rejoiced in many, many ups-- the birth of five babies, a new home, job promotions-- we've also experienced our share of downs-- money struggles, miscarriage, and death of a parent.  In our experience, the tough times truly brought us closer as we shared in the pain together.

Our Wedding Day

Even in the day to day minor difficulties, the rough days bring us closer together.  Spring is the biggest strain on our marriage because Brian returns to work (after the winter off) and grass grows with a vengeance.  Being in lawn care, growing grass is great for business and we are thankful (!), but it also means that he works long hours and some weeks we don't see him at home nearly enough.  When we do see him, he is tired and often stressed with the business calls he needs to return and the nightly paperwork he brings home.  But you know what?  When the house quiets at the end one of those days, we have the best late-night talks when we are both exhausted and half dead on the sofa.  They are better than the late-night talks that we have any other time of year because they mean more and we don't take our precious few minutes for granted.

August 2008 (and 7 months pregnant with Benjamin)

It is easy in the blogging world to only show the rosy, happy side of life.  It is easy to sweep the dirt under the rug and only show the good stuff (both literally and figuratively).  I mean it when I say, though, that our marriage is good stuff. 

So you want to know my secrets for a happy marriage? 

1) Don't consider divorce an option.  When we said our wedding vows, we meant them and we don't give ourselves the option of getting out when it gets hard.  I am continually saddened when I hear of marriages falling apart.  Especially in the celebrity circuit, you hear of couples who have been together seven years or five years or sometimes even less, say things like, "It wasn't working anymore," but marriage isn't an appliance that breaks and quits operating.  It is a sacred covenant so we've always planned for forever and never considered any differently. 

2) Don't talk negatively about him in front of the kids...or anybody else!  I've made it a goal of mine to not speak negatively about Brian in front of anyone.  It doesn't mean I don't grumble to myself when he does something that annoys me.  It also doesn't mean that I don't giggle along with the other ladies when we talk about how men leave their laundry strewn about or draped over the chair, but as far as complaining about him or putting him down, it just doesn't happen.  I like Brian to know that he has nothing to worry about when we are apart, and it is  important to maintain that respect in front of the kids, too. 

3) Tell him I love him.  Maybe it goes without saying, but knowing I love him is not the same as verbalizing it.   I tell him I love him every morning when he leaves for work and every night before we go to sleep. 

4) Place our marriage in the Lord's hands.  "Unless the Lord builds the house,  the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain." (Psalm 127:1 NIV)  Regardless of all my effort, it all truly depends on Him and we have Him to thank as each minute and day and week and month and year of our marriage passes. 

                                     

As always...take a moment to visit my fellow Tri-Moms,

Allyson and Christy.

Coming Soon:

March 6: Celebrating Spring

March 20:  Gardening with Kids

April 3: Celebrating the Meaning of Easter
April 17: Spring Cleaning
May 1: Reflecting on the Past School Year
May 15: Summer Learning Plans

31 Days {Day 27}: Til Death Do Us Part

As this month {and these 31 Days} draw to a close, I want to take a moment to touch on an important point. 

When my children are grown and leave home, my husband will still be here.

It is easy to get wrapped in my children-- who needs a drink, who needs new shoes, who pushed who and was it done on purpose or by accident.  My day begins with dressing the little ones and fixing breakfast for all.  Then I teach school and read books, fix lunch and lay children down for naps.  I cook dinner and play games and push swings and give baths.  The day is brimming with diapers and spills and squeals.  When at last I've tucked the blankets under chins, I am  tired and sometimes a little grumpy, too. 

Do I leave any time to cherish my husband? 
Do I send him the message that he is important?

I'd like to think that I do.  We never part ways without a kiss and an "I love you."   We connect on the phone multiple times throughout the day.  I leave him notes to find in his lunchbox.  When he's home, we talk while we wash the dishes or do the bills.    Our kids laugh at the pet names we have for each other. 

Still, I am sobered by the realization that when the children are gone-- whether it is ten years from now or twenty-- it is going to be me and him again.  When I no longer am responsible for the everyday needs of my little ones, when the chaos has calmed and the days are eerily quiet, when the years have passed in a whirlwind and I find myself on the other side of them...we will be two again.

If I wait until life slows down to show him I love him, it will be too late.

These years matter. 

Reminder: On Saturday, I'll give you the chance to link up your real life photos.  Take a moment with your camera to show us what real life looks like in your family.

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

Moments From Our Wedding Day
...10 years ago today...

pretty

happy

 

funny

real

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

Every Thursday @ Like Mother, Like Daughter!

Love Story (Countdown To Our Day)

(Part 1: One Plus One)
(Part 2: Two Hearts)

After the proposal, the wedding plans went into high gear.  My mom was homeschooling and caring for my 7-year-old sister and was pregnant with my youngest sister-- not your stereotypical "mother of the bride"-- and Brian and I were both working full-time jobs with opposite schedules so we planned in the cracks.  We ordered bridesmaids dresses from a catalog.  I bought my dress on Ebay (and it needed NO alterations!).  We talked flowers and favors and candles and music on Sunday evenings (one of the only times we both had off). 

We originally discussed a fall wedding, but settled on Saturday, August 11 of the next year which was exactly one week before my 21st birthday.  A woman at work told me I should at least wait until after I turned twenty-one so I could enjoy my birthday as a single woman, but I thought there was no better way to spend the day than with my new husband! 

Four months before the wedding, my mom was hospitalized again, this time for premature labor.  Her water broke at 32 weeks and she spent a week in Labor and Delivery, trying to hold back labor, but on Good Friday (April 13, 2001), my sister, Rebekah, was born seven weeks early, weighing close to six pounds.  Our plans came to a standstill for a bit, but soon we had to carry on.  My mom, now caring for a seven-year-old and a premature baby who was having trouble nursing and gaining weight, told me that the planning was going to have to fall almost entirely on me and Brian. 

Along with organizing the wedding, we were also trying to find a place to live since we were both still living at home with our parents.  Most apartments had a waiting list, but we needed to secure a place. Maybe that's why I don't have lots of romantic memories of the two to three months before our wedding.  I was too busy. I do remember lots of stressed-out tears and a dead car battery and a flat tire and having to be driven to work every day on the week leading up to my wedding. 

The summer of 2001 was beautiful.  Several acquaintances had been married that season and they had lovely, seventy-five degree days.  Me?  Not so much.  The day before our wedding was hot and muggy.  When we arrived at the church for the rehearsal, the pastor said, "Before you come in, I need to make sure the air conditioning is back on.  It was broken this week, but I think the repairmen came today."  Visions of sweat dripping off my wedding gown and sticky, flushed guests flashed through my mind.  But alas, the church was cool and the everything was back in working order.  The actual day of my wedding was hot and rainy.  You know what, though?  It was still a wonderful, unforgettable day.  Brian's dad officiated and we gathered together with co-workers, old friends, newer friends, and lots of family to promise our lives to each other and pledge our relationship to the Lord. 

We often think back on that day and see the pictures of us looking like two young kids and say, "We never could have imagined what life would look like almost ten years later and five kids richer."  Thankfully, Someone knew.

Love Story (Two Hearts)

(Part 1: One Plus One)

Our college's fall semester began in September (1999) and we again took several classes together.  One of our classes was an art history class which included two all-day field trips to art museums.  They were the ultimate dates,  spending whole days together in  big cities (yet still accountable and surrounded by chaperones).  We also had two regularly-scheduled afternoon/evening shifts a week together at the library (they called us Romeo and Juliet) and spent every weekend together either at my house or with friends. We were inseparable.

Summer of 2000 was the turning point.  Brian left the library for a full-time job  that had crazy hours and I graduated with my associates degree and applied for a new job so our time together was compromised.  My mom was hospitalized with a serious heath problem and my brother was preparing to leave for school five hours away.  For a few weeks, life seemed uncertain and scary, but somewhere in those hazy weeks Brian asked my dad if he could marry me. 

One Friday night in November, Brian and I went ice skating and I just knew he was going to give me a ring that night.  I suspected he had one and I thought it would be the perfect evening.  He didn't agree.  In an effort to beat my curfew, I drove home a little too fast. By the time I got home, I was late, disappointed and holding my first (and only!) speeding ticket.

On November 18, 2000, we went out to dinner with Brian's sister, Amy, and her husband, Lee.  After the meal, we drove to the beach and walked onto the boardwalk, overlooking the water.  It was cold and windy and almost too dark to see the water, but Brian had plans.  He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a ring box.  He says I never said yes, but somehow the ring found its way to my finger. 

(Part 3: Countdown To Our Day)

Love Story (One Plus One)

Those who have known me since I was a teenager (!) know that the answer to my Love Story guessing game is a, b, and c. Several commenters were correct, though the first one with the right answer was anonymous so I don't know who to call the unofficial winner. (Updated to say the anonymous commenter has been identified as my friend, Joanie!) 

In the spring of 1997, when I was a junior in high school, I got a part-time job at the county library shelving books.  I worked in the children's section alone so it was several weeks before I was introduced to any of the other shelvers, but one particularly slow evening, my friend, Ginger, who also my co-worker, took me over to the other side of the library and introduced me.  "This is Jen.  And this is Kim.  And this is Brian," she said. We smiled and said hello... but Brian has no memory of meeting at all!

It's funny because we think we may have even met years before.  When I was in fifth grade, I played clarinet in the elementary school band.  Brian was a sixth grader at another school and played trombone.  The two schools shared a band director and one year he asked several of us at my school to play in the spring concert at Brian's elementary school.  I remember the concert and Brian remembers the concert, but we don't remember each other!

So anyway...Brian graduated high school a month after we were introduced, got another job, and quit the library.  I don't think I even knew he had left since I had a boyfriend and was pretty absorbed in my social life. The following summer, though, was different.  I graduated high school and began working the front desk at the library.  Some time in the year, Brian had come back to the library and was also working the front desk.  My boyfriend moved away to college out of state and our relationship fizzled.

Brian was assigned to train me on the library's computer system so we began to get to know each other.  By November when we spent a weekend setting up for the library book sale, we had no problem talking for two days straight.  At Christmas, a friend and I went with Brian and his brother to a Christmas production at their church and out to dinner.  By winter, we would scan the calendar at work for any day we were assigned the same shift so we could take break together.  By spring, we registered for the same classes at the community college we were attending together. 

It was the summer of 1999.  Brian was twenty and I was barely nineteen.  My parents were still hesitant about us spending too much time alone, but we spent every spare minute together with groups of friends or at my house.  My six-year-old sister declared that she wanted to marry "B" as she called him...and I was beginning to think I wanted to marry him, too.

(Part 2: Two Hearts )
(Part 3: Countdown To Our Day)

A Little Game

Michelle asked:    How did you and your husband meet?
Carrie said: I would love to hear how you met your husband as well.

*****

I'll share our love story next week on Valentine's week, but until then, let's play a guessing game:

How do you think I met Brian?

a) at the library
b) at work
c) through a mutual friend

(And keep the questions coming.)

My Steady

It is nine years today.  Nine years since we inhaled salty wind, peering over boardwalk rails to glimpse the icy crest of waves.  Nine years since a 21-year-old boy asked a 20-year-old girl to be his wife.  Nine years since he took my hand, trembling from cold and excitement and nerves, holding it steady as he slipped a ring on my finger, anticipating our forever promise.  Nine years since I whispered yes through giddy lips...

Still feeling much like a girl, navigating life and marriage and motherhood, I differ not from the winter waves, rising high and falling hard.  But even  now he clasps my hand and remains My Steady.  "Many waters cannot quench love...my beloved is mine and I am his." 

My Love...

Eight years

Two hearts

One love

One Savior
 And isn't He the reason we sing?
 Love you, Brian, today and always!

Kristin

Edited to add: Thanks for the compliments on the picture. Can you believe the photographer was our one and only Gavin?!

Seven Years

August 11, 2001

Today Brian and I celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary! We were married on a hot and rainy Saturday exactly one week before I turned 21!

We have had some hard times-- the loss of a parent, the loss of a baby, the loss of a job...and also some wonderful times-- four children (the one in the tummy counts!), an amazing job opportunity, and unforgetable family memories.

I am so thankful for my husband. He is a gem! I look forward to many, many more years by his side! I love you, Brian.

August 2, 2008