31 Days {Day 17}: Worry

I know I'm not supposed to worry.  I know this is only a season and that tomorrow will have it's own cares.  I know I should enjoy today...but sometimes there is too much on my plate. 

I need to give Owen a reading lesson, clean the bathroom, and pay the electric bill.  Oh no!  I can't pay the bill until I go to the bank to deposit Brian's paycheck, but I wasn't planning to go into town today.  I do need to pick up library books, but the library is in the opposite direction.  Maybe I can go to the bank when Benjamin wakes up from his nap, but no, I need to put dinner in the oven by four to make sure it is done by dinner time. 

What about tomorrow?  How am I going to get it all done? I feel as though I hold the weight of the world on my shoulders.


Brian is my calming presence.  He gently eases my weight. While I fret, plan, and stew, he says, "It'll all work out."  

I argue, "But how will it work out if I don't plan for it?" 

Then I add, "And how will I manage to run any errands next week when I have so many obligations at home?" and, "How will we afford the electric bill and the mortgage when your income goes down in the winter?" 

This time he answers, "We'll take care of next week and next month when they come." 

When I was pregnant with Benjamin three years ago, I remember thinking, "I'm only now catching my breath with three.  How will I possibly manage four?!  How will I maintain my schedule when even more is added to it?" 

This time my Lord spoke to me through His Word.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Why worry about what is out of my control?   Even if it is in my control, why fret about it now when it has yet to arrive? 

I love the story told by Corrie ten Boom:

"Tell me," said Father, "When you take a train trip to Amsterdam, when do I give you the money for the ticket? Three weeks before?" 

"No, Daddy, you give me the money for the ticket just before we get on the train."

"That is right," my father said, "and so it is with God's strength.  Our Father in Heaven knows when you will need the strength ... He will supply all you need just in time."

Let's face it.  Sometimes even today is too much to think about, but can I trust Him to get me through this next hour?  Can I trust Him to provide the peace and strength to last me 'til naptime...and then to dinner...and then baths and bed?  I will trust him one moment at a time.

His grace is sufficient for this minute, this hour, today and tomorrow.

: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :

31 Days {Day 16}: Tackling Bedtime

As mothers of little ones, there areas of struggle that we deal with on a daily basis.  Bedtime is a biggie! 

How is it that children get rowdier as they grow sleepier?!  When I'm tired, I tend to slow down, talk less, and settle my body.  My children do the opposite until the energy in the house has reached a dangerous level.  Bedtime is not the quiet, peaceful affair I wish it to be. 

Our three oldest children (8, 7, and 5) are responsible for their own nightly routine.  They put on their pajamas, use the potty, brush their teeth, choose a CD to listen to or a stuffed animal to sleep with, and get into bed.  (Just because they are responsible for this routine doesn't mean they do each thing in perfect order without reminders.  It also doesn't mean there isn't a nightly tussle over which boy needs to pee "baaaaaad" and who can wait to go second.) 

In the meantime I am free to ready the littlest ones (3 and 13 months) for bed.  This is when I am so grateful when Brian is home with us.  He will often take Benjamin for his last potty run of the day and dress him for bed while I nurse Alaine and tuck her in to her bed in our room.  If I am home alone during bedtime, I juggle the best I can, choosing to either put Alaine to bed before I begin the others' routine... or wait until they are finished before I start with her.

When we lived in a townhouse and before Alaine was born, the three oldest kids (2 boys and 1 girl) shared a bedroom.  When Brian was home, he would pray with them and put them to bed while I settled the almost 2-year-old (Benjamin) into his bed in our room. 

Last summer when I was pregnant, Brian worked many late evenings while I was on my own at bedtime-- a truly overwhelming prospect.  My coping mechanism was to gather everyone for bed earlier than usual and spend time in their room reading and singing while I rested my aching back.  It turned a potentially chaotic time into a sweet time of fun and warm memories.

Right after Alaine was born, I noticed that Benjamin was feeling a little misplaced while he adjusted to his new status as big brother.  We began our own little routine at bedtime that eased some of his insecurity.  I would take him upstairs and while the baby was quietly nursing, I would ask Benjamin what two songs he would like to sing for his bedtime songs.  (For weeks, he chose "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" followed by "The Bear Went Over the Mountain," though he eventually branched out to "Veggie Tales" and "Jesus Loves Me.")  Those few minutes of one-on-one time at the end of the day were precious to both of us and calmed his delicate heart for sleep. 

What are your tricks for making bedtime go (more) smoothly? 






{Disclaimer: Though this post was written to give you ideas and to illustrate how our family handles bedtime, remember that you are walking your own path!}

31 Days {Day 15}: more real life

 

If you enjoy these peeks into my real life, 

consider joining me on the last Saturday of the month, 

when I'll have a place for you to link up 

your real life photos. 

: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :

Comfort Food Friday: Main Dish Week

Refried Bean Soup

When I placed a bowl of this soup in front of Brian, he was a little skeptical.  He thought it looked a little bland. Not one to complain, though, he took a bite...and another and another...and went back to the pot of seconds!  It is warm, fragrant, and flavorful-- the perfect combination for a fall day!

Chop 1 small onion and saute it in 1 tablespoon of oil.  Stir in  2 cans northern beans (drained), 1 can of kidney beans (drained), 1 can of pinto beans (drained), 1 teaspoon of ground thyme, a dash of chili powder, and a dash of garlic powder.  Add 4 cups of chicken or vegetable broth and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat to low.  Use a food processor or blender to puree soup in batches.  Simmer and serve with grated cheese and tortilla chips. 

What is your go-to comfort dinner?  Consider linking up!

Coming up...

October 21: Side Dish Week

October 28: Dessert Week

31 Days {Day 14}: Confessions

I wonder if you are like me. 

Do you have little mama secrets that you keep inside and don't tell anyone?  I'm not talking dark, hideous secrets-- just things you keep under wraps because you think someone will think you're weird or careless or not a good mom.  Perhaps you're just plain embarrassed or maybe you think you're the only quirky one. 

Today is my day to confess. 

Maybe you'll confirm my fears... or maybe you'll smile and nod your head and shout a resounding, "Me, too!" 

1. When I got the urge to decorate my house for fall in September, we took a whole morning to do that instead of start our school day.
   
   
   
2. Until Alaine came along, none of my kids slept through the night until they were at least 18 months old. 
   
   
   
3. Alaine (13 months) sleeps through the night, but Owen (5 years) doesn't.
   
   
   
4. I fed my picky child cake for breakfast two mornings in a row because it had oats in it, and oats are healthy, right?
   
   
   
5. I've nursed a 3-year-old and I've weaned a 1-year-old.
   
   
   
6. I cried on Christmas morning because there was too much clutter. 
   
   
   
7. I've co-slept (and bed-shared) with all of my children.
   
   
   
8. My kids ask to watch PBS Kids almost every morning and I almost always let them. 
   
   
9. Sometimes I send my kids outside and plead, "Please don't get dirty this time."  (They always do anyway.)
   
   
   
10. I rinse clumps of toothpaste out of the kids' bathroom sink every night.
    
    
    
11. We eat fast food one night every weekend.
    
    
    
12. I throw away some of my kids' artwork when they aren't looking.
     

What do you want to confess today?

31 Days {Day 13}: Then and Now

This is why I don't want to wish away even one day of their precious childhood: 

 

Gavin in October of 2003 at 10 months & Gavin now at 8 years, 10 months

If you are overwhelmed by today,  remember that the days may be long, but the years race by. 

: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :

31 Days {Day 12}: Go Along For the Ride

I recently talked with a friend who was preparing to begin her homeschool year with a 6-year-old, 3-year-old, not-quite 2-year-old and a 2-week-old!   She  asked me  how I occupied little ones who seemed to cause endless chaos during the school hours. 

I thought and thought about my answer for her, but I couldn't think of anything to say because I don't have a magic answer.  (If you've discovered the secret, let me know.)  I told her the same thing I am going to tell you:  go along for the ride.  I don't mean that I let my pre-schoolers have the run of the house, but I've had to recognize that no amount of entertaining and pacifying will do the trick all of the time.  Sometimes it is simply not as pleasant and quiet as I'd like it to be. 

 This is the third time I have homeschooled with a 1-year-old in mix.  I've noticed that regardless of personality, when we begin school they display their dislike by crying...a lot.  I've had a needy child, a laid-back easy-going kid, and one that fell in-between, but it was the same each time. And though it grates on my nerves, I work with it and talk through it and slowly, slowly it gets better.

I think that it probably the most appropriate thing to leave with you.  It gets better.  Really.  This is a season that will pass.  We will all find ourselves on the other side of it and we will sigh with relief and we'll also realize that we've learned lessons that homeschooling alone could not teach us. 

31 Days {Day 11}: The Turning of the Seasons

I've been told many times that these years of raising my little ones is a season.  I've repeated the concept many times myself to other mothers who are in need of a gentle word.  It is an encouragement to know that though I may be bogged down now with the endless noise and construction paper all over the house, in a few years the situation will be different.  While today may be filled with runny noses and dirty diapers, in five years they will wipe their own noses and use the bathroom alone.  This week I may have to take five energetic kids to buy milk at Target,  but in a blink I will be sending them along to pick it up for me. 

For better or worse, the ways things are today will not be the way things are tomorrow. 

I know I expected a gentle turn of seasons.  Just as spring turns to summer, I expected a few hints of a change before it actually happened.  As the buds peek out on the trees before the leaves shoot forth, I thought I would know when a change was coming. 

Maybe I should have known better.  It seems that each May when we are longing for a hint of warm breeze, the nip in the air persists and then suddenly it is ninety-five degrees with no warning.  It was the same way with my current season of mothering.  I knew my kids were getting older.  I knew they were gaining independence, but I didn't expect to be suddenly thrust into this new season. 

In April we bought our first home.  March and April were consumed with sorting and packing and repairs and cleaning.  When May dawned and we settled into the new place, I realized that while I was caught up in my busy-ness, we had entered a new season with no warning.  For the first time in years, I sit down in the evening without nursing or soothing a baby to sleep.  Instead, I nurse the baby-toddler once in the evening, put her down in bed, and say good-night until morning.  I grocery shop (with all five kids!) in the morning now instead of my husband doing the food shopping at night.   My older children dust and vacuum their own rooms every week, help dry dishes, empty the dishwasher in the mornings, and fold laundry, sharing the housework with me.

I love that even though I still have a houseful of children, we are in a season that allows us to make plans with other families and be the flexible ones.  Until this summer, it seemed that others had to plan around us, but now our season allows us to plan around others. 

"Does your baby need to nap at one o'clock?  Okay.  We'll meet you at the park in the morning!"

"Is it too hard to get all of your little ones ready to leave the house?  Okay.  We'll come to you!" 

"Need to have a few hours out of the house?  Come to us!"

It is so liberating and I love that after having so many people be flexible with us in the past years, we  have the privilege now of accommodating others! 

So hang on to your hat!  You may be in a difficult season today, but your next one may burst forth in a beautiful array of color when you least expect it!
 

31 Days {Day 10}: The Hardest Number

I think one of the things that holds many couples back from having more children is that oh-so-difficult transition from 0 to 1.  I remember bringing my squalling baby boy home from the hospital.  I was sore and exhausted, and he didn't seem to care.  I thought, "If having a baby is this hard, I don't think I'll be able to do it again!"

August 2003
Gavin (8 months)

We went on a family vacation last month.  At one of our stops, the kids were able to decorate gingerbread cookies in a busy bakery shop.  I noticed an older man hovering nearby watching.  After a few minutes, he approached us and said, "Are these all your kids?"  When we smiled and said that yes they were, he said, "Wow.  You must be busy, but they are so well behaved.  I have trouble keeping up with my one grandson." 

I felt the same way as a mother of one all those years ago, but despite my reservations, twenty months after the first, another baby was born and I was the mother of two.  Twenty-five months later, I became mom of three.  While childbirth recovery was a breeze that time, mothering three children aged four and under was not! 

I'm not sure whether it was their ages or their particular temperaments or the fact that we began homeschooling that year, but most days I felt like I was drowning.  Slowly, slowly, I began to catch my breath.  Slowly I began to catch up on my sleep.  Slowly things calmed down and I could bake a batch of cookies without someone crying for my attention.  Someone still clung to my leg and someone else still poured more flour on the table than into the bowl, but things began to look up and I didn't feel quite so helpless. 

May 2008
Maddie (3), Owen (21 months), Gavin (5)

When I was expecting Benjamin, I was nervous.  Would his birth stir up those old feelings of inadequacy?  No, instead I was pleased to realize our family had turned a corner.  Though we still had a toddler and a baby in the house, we also had older children who wanted to help retrieve diapers and play with the little ones while I ran to the bathroom.  Though adding a newborn to the mix, the dynamics of the house stayed relatively the same. 

Last year, we added Baby #5, Alaine,  and honestly, it was the smoothest transition yet!  One child was hard and three was tough, but four and five?  Not so bad. 

What was your hardest number?

{And a bonus question: is there a topic for the struggling mama you would like to see me address in the remaining 21 days of this series?}

31 Days {Day 9}

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :