31 Days {Day 9}

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. Isaiah 40:11

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31 Days {Day 8}: real life

Can you relate?

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Comfort Food Friday: Breakfast Week

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal

My family loves this baked peanut butter oatmeal, but sometimes I have a craving for the flavors without the time (or patience) to wait for it to bake.  While my stove-top version has an entirely different consistency than the baked variety, on a chilly morning this is pure comfort. 

Place 1/2 cup rolled oats and 1 cup of water in pot over medium heat.  Stir in 1 tablespoon of brown sugar and 1 tablespoon of peanut butter.  Cook until oatmeal reaches desired consistency (usually only 3-4 minutes).   Spoon into bowl and sprinkle with handful of chocolate chips.  Makes 1 large serving or 2 small servings. 

Do you have a breakfast recipe that warms the heart and the tummy, too?  Consider joining the linky below.

 


Coming up...
October 14: Main Dish Week

October 21: Side Dish Week

October 28: Dessert Week

31 Days {Day 7}: The Hardest Age

 

Since becoming a mother, I've often wondered what age I would find to be the hardest.  Each year seems to carry its own struggles and challenges, and since my oldest has yet to reach the age of ten,  I can't say I'm an expert on the subject. 

However, I do have a theory. 

I've never put much stock in the terrible twos thing.  I'm not naive.  My Benjamin is currently in full toddler mode.  He whines.  He wants his own way.  He doesn't like to share. He resists bedtime. He doesn't want to hold my hand to cross the street. Yet, through ups and downs, I'm still the mom, and in the end, he knows he is required to obey or face the consequences.   

I'm also not in the camp that deems it normal and okay for a teenager to go through a period of rebellion.  If a child has been raised to know right and wrong and has their own relationship with their Maker, why would it be normal for them to throw that aside just because they turn thirteen?  I'm not saying a teenager can't be moody or desire independence or have a stinking bad day, but I am saying that I don't expect my future teenagers to fit into the stereotypes of a fallen world.

...which brings me to my theory...

I think the hardest age is that period between twelve and eighteen months.  It is a period of intense training and teaching.  I have to be gentle, yet firm.  I have to be alert and ready to spring into action.  (I have a 13-month-old climber so I do a lot of springing!)  I have to scold and correct while wondering if the child even understands the words leaving my mouth.  I have to be willing to say "no" over and over and over again, yet still allow for curiosity and wonder. 

The twos and threes are an undeniable challenge.  The teenage years may be emotional.  Yet, I hold that if the groundwork is laid early, the hardest part is done.


What age is the hardest for you?

31 Days {Day 6}: Surviving

I've talked before about how when you are homeschooling with a baby and a toddler in the mix, sometimes it is simply about survival.  The same goes for everyday life with little ones, whether school enters the picture or not. 

I used to get caught up in the idea that I should get up early and be dressed before the kids got up.  I would feed them a hearty breakfast, play games and read books, and keep the television off all day.  The baby would nap in a crib and the toddler in his bed while I did the laundry and dishes in the afternoon.  Then we'd all freshen up and cook dinner for Daddy.  If my day didn't go as planned, I'd feel guilty and defeated or at the very least, feel like I didn't measure up to those other moms.

Of course, the reality is that when I tiptoe out of bed, the whole house wakes up.  Sometimes my kids spend the whole day in their pajamas and I serve too many goldfish and Pop Tarts. Sometimes I have to tell the 3-year-old to lay down fifteen times before he drifts off to sleep in the afternoon.  I wish I could say that the television stays off, but most days it does flicker to life and we have even been known to let The Wild Kratts count for science! 

Now this doesn't mean that we let everything go and throw the schedule out the window just because we have little ones in the house, but it does mean that I let go of my expectation that we must be perfect.  It means that when we're having a rough day, it is more important to me that we are happy and together than whether I served macaroni out of box. 

Pointing my children to the Lord doesn't require perfection. 

31 Days {Day 5}: It's Okay

I had another topic and another post planned for today-- that is until last night when I was tiptoeing into my room  to go to bed.  Normally a very sound sleeper, Alaine woke up and started stirring.  Her nose was stuffy and she whimpered as she tried to comfort herself.  I listened to her wiggle around and cough a bit as the congestion from her cold bubbled up into her throat. 

Knowing it could mean a delay to my own night of sleep and knowing she might have gone back to sleep on her own given time, I picked her up out of her bed anyway.  She rubbed her sleepy eyes and burrowed her face in my shoulder.  I re-fastened her diaper which was sagging loose.  I pulled her leg warmers up around her thighs and smoothed her night gown.  Then I whispered words of comfort in her ear as I rocked and swayed around the room.  I felt her body grow heavy, but I held on a few more minutes, inhaling her sweet scent before I laid her back on her mattress and draped the blanket over her sleeping form. 

You see, when I had my first child, I had heard that babies needed to learn to sleep on their own.  My baby didn't agree so he spent his first two years in my bed.  I tried everything I could think of to get him to sleep in his own space, but he preferred to snuggle next to me all night. 

I accepted it.  In fact, I kind of liked it. 

Still, the questions on everyone's lips were, "Is he a good sleeper?" and, "Does he sleep through the night yet?"  Most of the time, I managed to avoid answering, but when I did let slip that he slept with me and most definitely did not sleep all night without waking, I was given warnings like, "You better watch that.  It's a hard habit to break," and, "Have you tried letting him cry?"  and, "If you're not careful, he'll be in your bed 'til he's ten!" 

The real issue here is not bed-sharing and co-sleeping.  It's not crying it out versus rocking to sleep.  It's about allowing mothers to embrace their God-given mothering instincts. 

Someone needs to tell women that it is okay to keep your baby close.  It's okay to rock her and cuddle her, even in the middle of the night.  It's okay if your nine-month-old or nineteen-month-old or nine-year-old still wakes up before morning.  It's okay to hug your sobbing boy even if the scrape on his hand is no more than a surface scratch.  It's okay to not meet the expectations of those around you.  It's okay to want more children even if you have more than what everyone deems the norm.  It's okay to choose to stay home with your children, despite your college degree.  It's okay to feel like your are floundering in your role as mother.

It is okay to lean wholly on Him.

 

31 Days {and Tri-Moms}: Joys and Fears

 

I make an effort not to wish away a single day of my life whether it is boring or difficult or long or dreary.  I'm constantly reminding my kids to appreciate each day as it comes and fully live in it. One of my children in particular is always looking ahead to what is next.  At the lunch table, he asks what we are having for dinner.  He checks the calendar to see what we have planned for the week.  He counts the days until his birthday or the weekend or vacation. 

Despite my effort to live in the moment, the days continue to tick by and my children grow older and each days is an inch closer to their independence.  Each milestone reached is joyful and sobering in the same moment.  I love witnessing each child take that first step, but it means saying good-bye to crawling and dingy knees. Weaning and potty-training are celebrations that bring tears.  I love the excitement of the first loose tooth, but it means the baby smile will change.  I love tucking a child into bed and knowing they will stay there all night, but it signals the end of midnight cuddles. 

There is great joy in watching my children grow up.  My physical burden is lifted with each month that passes.  Who would turn down help with the laundry or extra hands in the kitchen?  Watching my older children grab the hand of a younger sibling as they cross the street together or read a story to a younger child never fails to bring a smile to my face, and guiding each one into their own relationship with the Lord is a true pleasure, but I wonder what I'm going to do when my full hands are suddenly empty.  When my guiding and leading and folding and wiping is done, what will my hands find to do? 

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Why don't you take a moment to visit my fellow Tri-Moms, Allyson @ A Heart For Home and Christy @ A Living Homeschool as they share from their hearts today, too.

Upcoming Tri-Moms Topics
October 18: Traveling with children

November 1: Thanksgiving crafts and recipes

November 15: Teaching the meaning of Thanksgiving

31 Days {Day 3}: Your Situation is Unique

I talked yesterday about how neither of us should ever feel as though we are alone in our mothering journey.  There is always someone, somewhere who has experienced what we are experiencing.  However, your situation is unique. 

I have been married for 10 years and am a 31-year-old mama of five.  My kids range in age from 1 to almost 9, which means they were born in a little under 8 years.  We homeschool and worship at home.  We live on one income and we own two vehicles.  My husband works long hours in the spring, summer, and fall, but he is at home for ten weeks in the winter.  Most of our family lives in the area so we have emotional support and the occasional babysitter.  We own our home and have a lot of grass to cut. 

I've often fallen into the trap of comparing myself to others.  Not the "keeping up with the Jonses" sort of comparing, but a "How does she do that?" kind of thing. 

How does she take her girls to dance class two afternoons a week when I can barely get dinner on the table by the time my husband comes home from work?

How can she afford to buy all organic food?

How does she run errands and take her kids to the park before lunch when I'm tired just thinking of going to the grocery store in the morning?

How does she find time to sew while I can't find a minute to replace the button on my son's jeans?

How does host large gatherings in her home?

She runs all her errands on the weekend.  Am I doing too much or stressing my kids out by doing mine during the week? 

The thing is:  she is not me.  She may have two kids or seven. Her kids may be older or younger or have different temperaments than mine.  Her child may not take a nap in the afternoon anymore.  Her husband may work from home or work nights or be gone for months at a time.  Her kids might go to school everyday.  She might live in a apartment or work part-time. 

Comparing myself to others is always futile.  Instead, I must be thankful that He has given me my own path to walk and rejoice that He is lighting the way. 

31 Days {Day 2}: You Are Not Alone

If there is one thing I could tell the young mother, it is this: You are not alone.  It sure feels like you're in this alone sometimes, but there are many, many other mamas who are in your shoes.

Do you spend your days alternating between being bored out of your mind and having so much to do you don't think you have the time to do it all?  You are not alone!

Do you wonder if the baby will ever take a nap without being held?  Do you wonder if you are the only mother in the world who has held her baby to get him to sleep for longer than twenty minutes?  You are not alone!  

Do you ever totally lose your cool and then cry tears of regret and have to ask your child's forgiveness?  You are not alone!  

Do you find it hard to believe that someday you will get in the car and each person will buckle their own seat belt or that someday everyone will zip their own coat?  You are not alone!  

I think a lot of times we assume that no one else would understand what we are going through.  Surely that mom I passed on the grocery aisle doesn't nurse her baby while she stirs dinner.  Surely her baby is content to sit in the bouncer while she sets the table.  Surely her toddler has never thrown a fit while driving down the road and surely she has never yelled, "I don't want to hear another sound out of you mouth until we get to Walmart!"  We feel isolated and a little weird that we would even be feeling the way we do. 

The second thing I would tell the young mother is this:  It gets easier.  Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but life won't always be so hectic and tear-stained.  You may not get a full night's sleep, but you will adjust.  You won't always be calm and cheerful, but you'll have fewer breakdowns.  The conversation improves as children grow older, too. 

There is light at the end of this tunnel.  I think I'm going to miss the tunnel a little bit when I reach the other side of it...and I bet you will, too. 

31 Days For the Struggling Mama

Last year, The Nester and seven other bloggers spent the 31 days of October devoting their words to a single topic.  They committed to writing on that topic every day of the month.  This year, they are at it again, with one difference.  They are opening the floor for anyone to choose their own topic and join them in writing for this year's 31 Days of Change.

Since I began my blog over three years ago, I have never, ever been a daily blogger, but something about this 31 day challenge stirred me.  One of the most popular posts on my blog is a post I typed out from my heart one evening in March of this year.  It was titled To The Struggling Mama. I tend to be a slow, deliberate writer, but unlike many of the things I write, this came out quickly and effortlessly so when I clicked publish that evening, I was unprepared for its impact.

As the mama of five, I am no stranger to the overwhelmingly difficult days of caring for little ones.  My children are 8 (almost 9), 7, 5, 3, and 13 months, and though they are still young, I feel as though we have turned a corner and the easy(er) days now outweigh the hard days.  I pray that in these next 31 days, I can be an encouragement to the mamas who are walking this path with me.  I pray that we can form a community of encouragers to nudge each other toward His grace. 

Are you a mother of a little one or two?  Are you an older mother who has a wise word for those of us who are still in the trenches?  Consider joining me in these 31 Days For the Struggling Mama. 

 

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