If there is one thing I could tell the young mother, it is this: You are not alone. It sure feels like you're in this alone sometimes, but there are many, many other mamas who are in your shoes.
Do you spend your days alternating between being bored out of your mind and having so much to do you don't think you have the time to do it all? You are not alone!
Do you spend your days alternating between being bored out of your mind and having so much to do you don't think you have the time to do it all? You are not alone!
Do you wonder if the baby will ever take a nap without being held? Do you wonder if you are the only mother in the world who has held her baby to get him to sleep for longer than twenty minutes? You are not alone!
Do you ever totally lose your cool and then cry tears of regret and have to ask your child's forgiveness? You are not alone!
Do you find it hard to believe that someday you will get in the car and each person will buckle their own seat belt or that someday everyone will zip their own coat? You are not alone!
I think a lot of times we assume that no one else would understand what we are going through. Surely that mom I passed on the grocery aisle doesn't nurse her baby while she stirs dinner. Surely her baby is content to sit in the bouncer while she sets the table. Surely her toddler has never thrown a fit while driving down the road and surely she has never yelled, "I don't want to hear another sound out of you mouth until we get to Walmart!" We feel isolated and a little weird that we would even be feeling the way we do. The second thing I would tell the young mother is this: It gets easier. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but life won't always be so hectic and tear-stained. You may not get a full night's sleep, but you will adjust. You won't always be calm and cheerful, but you'll have fewer breakdowns. The conversation improves as children grow older, too.
There is light at the end of this tunnel. I think I'm going to miss the tunnel a little bit when I reach the other side of it...and I bet you will, too.
Right now I'm just dreaming of showering alone :)
ReplyDeleteAhhh! Coming off a week full of "I feel so alone" thoughts - this was such an encouragement. I spent the week very overwhelmed and discouraged. At least I can say "I'm not a lone." :) I'm looking forward to the rest of your series!
ReplyDeletei can testify to the adjusting. being a parent, regardless of what kind of parent, is never easy. but i see some fruit forming! there are some pivotal ages that if you take a moment to step back and spectate it is a marvel.
ReplyDeletedon't get me wrong--i could figuratively string my kids up by their toes with dental floss (maybe it'll increase blood flow to their brain??), but each age is a wonder.
whenever we bump into youngers at the store that we query ages of i always announce "that's a great age!" sometimes the parents look at me like i've been smoking something illegal before i finish my declaration with: it'll turn you gray and rip your hair out, but it's a fantastic age!
and really it is! i think too often we get wrapped up in the day-to-day and forget to SEE our kids and marvel at the individuals they are.
now to go do my daily post. *wry grin*
Oh man, I love this post too. I will definitely be following your series!
ReplyDeleteSo, so true! One thing I tell new moms (and especially new to staying at home moms) is to build community with others in your same stage of life. It was so much easier to deal with the "I'm alone" thoughts when I knew that I had someone a phone call away who was going through the same thing today, or went through it yesterday, or would be going through it tomorrow.
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