Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Dairy-free Mom

I've been {almost} dairy-free for over a month now.  (More on the almost later in this post.) I went dairy-free in an effort to reduce the symptoms of Macie's silent reflux. You can read the details of our story here, but the short version is that she rarely spit up so she went un-diagnosed for weeks, but we finally put all the pieces together (inconsolable crying for hours every day, nasal congestion when waking, frequent hiccups) and realized she was suffering from reflux.  Initially medication helped, but I found that eliminating dairy was even more effective.  We weaned her off the medication before determining that a combination of my dairy-free diet and her medication gave her the best relief.  She is essentially weaning herself off of the medication again, though, since her dosage is not changing even as she goes through a rapid growth spurt.

I have received a handful of questions about going dairy-free, both personally and online, and I thought it may be helpful to address them here.

What exactly does it mean to be dairy-free?
It means not eating dairy products like milk, yogurt, sour cream, cheese, ice cream, and butter.  It also means avoiding whey and casein.  I've found, though, that Macie can tolerate if I eat small amounts of butter. Chocolate is usually okay, too.  To be safe, I buy Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips which are dairy-free.  (They do contain soy which I would prefer to avoid for other reasons, but I'm choosing to pick my battles!)

Do you think it is helping? I do. At first I was convinced it was the sole answer to our problem.  Then Macie had another week of increased irritability, not as severe as in the beginning but not "normal."  We decided to begin her medication again and the combination of the altered diet and the meds seems to be the answer.  Before going dairy-free, we could barely make it until the next dose, but now there are times when I  miss giving her a dose and she is fine.  Reflux typically peaks at four months so she may be beginning to outgrow it anyway, but there was such a dramatic change when I stopped eating dairy, that we have no doubt it is playing a part in her recovery.

How long will you avoid dairy products? 
Dairy sensitivity in babies is usually short-term.  Often by the time their immune systems are mature enough to tolerate solid foods (around six months), their tummies are capable of digesting milk protein again. I plan to avoid dairy through the summer.  By September, Macie will be eight months old and I will try adding dairy back into my diet.  I've read that a gentle way to do that is to eat a small portion of dairy one day, wait two days before eating a bit more, and then gradually increase the amount and the frequency.  In other words, no matter how much I may crave pizza, it would not be the way to begin!

Does your family eat dairy-free also?
When I plan dinner, I only choose to prepare dairy-free dishes or ones that allow the cheese, sour cream, etc. to be added by the individual. I do not keep a dairy-free house so everyone is welcome to prepare and eat what they want for breakfast and lunch.

Every Sunday, I'm sharing our menu for the coming week on my blog Facebook page.  It's dairy-free and can be done without turning on the oven!  For more details, click here, and then go on over to Facebook Sunday evening to see the menu for the week.  (This week's menu is already there.)

Do you find it hard to eat this way?
Telling myself this is temporary helps. I think it would be harder if I thought I needed to make a permanent change.  Finding things to eat has not been difficult.  I read labels and have to avoid some packaged foods, but sticking primarily to whole foods-- veggies, fruit, meat-- takes the guess work out of the process.

What do you miss?
I have never been a milk drinker, but I do love ice cream and butter.  I also ate a fair amount of Greek yogurt for snacks before I made the change.  The thing I miss most, though, is pizza.  I have one child who prefers pizza without cheese so one night in April when we needed to order out at the last minute, he and I shared a cheese-less pizza, his half plain, my half with chicken and spinach.  It was good, but I greatly missed the cheese!

So what do you eat for breakfast and lunch?
I'm eating a lot of steel-cut oatmeal, because I love it and because it is good for nursing moms.  I use this method which can be prepared one-handed.  Plus it only takes a minute of hands-on (or hand-on) work and the grains are soaked to perfection. Scrambled eggs or hard-boiled eggs are good, seasoned with salt and pepper.  I am also eating copious amounts of natural peanut butter.  For lunch, my favorite thing to prepare when there are no leftovers is a skillet dish of chicken, diced red potato, and broccoli.  I cook it with a little olive oil and salt and pepper, and it is delicious.  I also make a similar dish with chicken, sweet potato, and quinoa. 

Can you eat lactose-free treats?
In our case, lactose isn't the problem.  Babies with milk sensitives are usually bothered by the milk protein.

Are there dairy substitutes you can eat?
I keep a container of almond milk in the refrigerator for cereal, baking, or the occasional cup of hot chocolate. I also discovered that Ben and Jerry's makes several vegan "ice cream" flavors with almond milk.  I was skeptical, but the one I tried was a great treat. 

Wouldn't it be easier to switch Macie to formula?  
Actually, no.  Even if eating dairy-free was difficult for me, giving her infant formula would not be a simple option.  Because of her milk sensitivity, she would need to be on a more-expensive hypoallergenic formula.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

A Month of Meals

When I shared my plan for meals during the summer, someone mentioned that they would like to see my menu to get inspiration for their own household. I've decided to share one week at a time on the blog Facebook page.  A few things you should know:

1) I'll post a weekly list on Sunday evenings for the next four weeks.  

2) Links to specific recipes will be in the comments. 

3) I'm only planning five dinners per week.  One night we eat out and on Sundays we eat a shared meal with family.

4) The meals we are eating are dairy-free because of my temporary dietary restrictions, but you can incorporate milk, butter, cheese, sour cream, etc. if you wish!  

5)  Some meals are very similar.  For example, we are doing Mexican every Tuesday night.  My family agreed to sacrifice variety for simplicity during the summer. 

Next week, I want to do a separate post here on some of the questions I've been asked about going dairy-free.  If there is anything you would like to know, I'll include your question, too!

Happy weekend to you all!

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Meal Planning For the Summer

We finished school today and it feels good.  There are moments of sadness, too, when I think of how Gavin will be in high school next year.  (How did he get to be so old?!)  But all of us are more than a little excited to have finished the school year well and to take a break from the formal stuff.  We always sneak a little academics into the summer, but we don't call it school and everyone is happy.

the oldest and the youngest

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster.  We all passed around a cold.  Brian ended up with a sinus infection and pink eye on top of that...so now we're taking turns with his pink eye germs.  At first I had visions of being stuck in the house with goopy-eyed people all summer while it slowly took us out one. by. one.  But I've calmed down from that now. Aside from having to randomly quarantine a new person from the rest of the world for 24 hours every few days, it's not a big deal.  No one feels sick and no one is uncomfortable.

Macie is finally settling into a happy routine.  She is not your stereotypical "easy" baby, but she is a napping rock star and her reflux is under control.  Most days she is pleasant and smiling. She has started giggling and can hold her back and neck straight to practice sitting alone.  We're praying the out-of-control fussy days are behind us. 

We finished our school year today and now I'm experimenting with a new way to meal plan.  We tried a  super-easy system  after Macie was born and that is still working, but I wanted something even simpler for summer.  We have several restrictions. First, our house gets sticky, hot when I turn the oven  on, and secondly, I need to eat a dairy- free diet to manage Macie's reflux. 

I decided to make a 1-month meal plan.  I plugged in all the things we eat that use the griddle, slow cooker, or stove top, and I chose only items that don't contain dairy products (milk, butter, cheese) or that can have those ingredients added at the table by the individual. We'll simply repeat the same menu each month until the weather cools down.  

Most of the menu consists of old favorites like tacos, blackberry chicken, and tangy meatballs.  I sprinkled in easy meals like BLTs and salads.  I added one or two new recipes like root beer pulled pork.  I even included some side dishes my kids love but I never serve, like baked beans and Jello (separately, not together!). 

I'm hoping this plan will serve us well through the busy... and sunny... days ahead. 

Monday, April 25, 2016

Behind the Scenes Confessional

Yesterday was a little emotional.

My parents moved out of my childhood home on Saturday.   Everything is fine and they bought a new house that they love and that meets all their needs, but it is still hard.  I don't consider myself  a sentimental person, but I'll admit I shed a few tears realizing I won't step back into the place that holds so many, many memories.  

Then on Sunday at church, I missed almost the entire service because Macie was crying.  She and I did slip back in at the end to sing the last song with the congregation, but it's not the first week I've had to sit out and it was a little discouraging. 

I keep forgetting that I'm only three months postpartum and that the hormones and emotions are still pumping strong.  Sometimes I feel like I'm the only mom with a fussy baby (I'm not!) and that everyone else is watching me and judging my parenting decisions (they're not!). It's so easy to think I'm the only one.  I've had "easy" babies and I've had "hard" ones and there is not one thing I can do to control it!

It's easy to put on a happy face for a blog or to only share the happy photos on Facebook.  Of course. Who is going to post photos of their baby screaming in their car seat? But I think it's helpful to show that no mom has it all together, and that even if she does, babies are babies and toddlers are toddlers.  (And big kids pout and teenagers mope...)

My baby may take 4 hour naps (she does!), but she also cries every time I take her grocery shopping. What babies need are moms who loves them whether they show their best selves to the world or whether that transition is a little harder.  What moms need is to remember each child is an individual, designed by God, and that He will walk with them as they learn to navigate the hard days. 

And now, all moms unite!  Your baby is quirky and so is mine.  Here are some things about Macie (3.5 months) that may or may not be like your baby: 
  • She drools like crazy.  I have to change her 2-3 times or put up with soaked clothing, but...
  • She rarely spits up!
  • She won't take a pacifier, despite my numerous attempts since she was 2 days old.
  • Sometimes she finds her thumb or her fingers for comfort, but neither make her very happy.
  • She doesn't like to be worn in a sling or baby carrier. I've worn all five of my other children to various degrees, but never had one who resists so vehemently!
  • She loves a bath in the sink but hates getting dressed afterwards.
  • She is irritated by a wet diaper and loves a diaper change.
  • She gets forceful, almost violent, hiccups.
  • She loves gripe water and it cures her hiccups about 95% of the time.
  • She protests being strapped into her car seat, but she often falls asleep in the car once she settles.
  • She wants to nurse much more often than the suggested every 2-3 hours but then gets mad at me when she's not actually hungry.
  • She can roll from her stomach to her back and from her back to her side.
  • She prefers sleeping on her tummy.
  • She wants to nurse to sleep, but sometimes I have to walk and nurse at the same time to get her to settle down.
  • She does not like to be rocked to sleep and I can't get her to lay her head on my shoulder to sleep, but often she'll drift off if Brian holds her and bounces on the exercise ball.
  • One time, she slept in her crib from 10 pm to 7 am, but now she wakes between 2 and 3 and prefers a nursing buffet until morning.
  • She already shows signs of separation anxiety if I'm not holding her.
  • She turns into a pumpkin between 7 and 7:30 in the evening if we aren't at home. 
  • She sucks her probiotics off my finger like it's candy.
  • She is very expressive with her eyebrows.
  • She likes to lay and kick around on the floor...until she doesn't.

Macie is her own person and it's okay.  Your baby may be happier, fussier, more active, quieter, louder, more content, more insecure, sleepier, or more wakeful. Your baby may be different, but  each mom and baby was made by God and it's all okay.

And if it's an emotional day for you, too, I understand.

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Our Silent Reflux Story

I'm writing to share our experience in the hope that it could help another family with similar issues.  

For the first seven weeks of Macie's life, she was a happy, content baby.  She slept well and long at night  She let anyone hold her.  In the car, she cried for only a minute or two before falling asleep.  We called her our "dream baby" because of how easily she adapted to life.

The week Brian went back to work after his winter break, Macie got a bad cold. What seemed normal at first progressed into something more serious and we needed to take her to the ER for labored breathing.  She was diagnosed with RSV on March 7.  There was a lingering cough and congestion for days so saline and a nasal aspirator became part of our daily routine.  Macie started waking often at night and not settling easily.  She cried much of the day, plus resisted naps and nursing.  At first we thought the congestion was irritating her and disrupting her sleep.  Then I thought maybe my supply was low and she was not getting enough to eat.  

By the end of March, the cough was gone and she began sleeping more soundly again, both at night and during nap time, but after only a day or two of clear breathing, the stuffy nose came back.  It was especially noisy in the morning.  We feared she was getting another cold, but no other symptoms developed.  We also considered allergies.  Regardless of the cause, something was making Macie cry for hours of every day.  We feared  it was our new version of normal.  I've parented a high-needs baby before, but his cries were different.  Nothing comforted Macie.  The kids couldn't hold her anymore and it was intimidating to take her out because we never knew when she would begin crying loudly and inconsolably.  I held it together okay in the daytime, but each evening I was zapped.  I had more than one sobbing break-down of my own. 

One day while she was sleeping, I started googling her symptoms-- hours of crying, stuffy nose, frequent hiccups-- and realized she was exhibiting signs of silent reflux.  Babies with this type of reflux rarely spit up because the stomach acid only comes partly up the esophagus before going back down.  Though it can occur from birth, it often does not begin until the baby is closer to eight weeks old. I felt as though a light went on.  The difficulties we'd been experiencing over the past weeks were all related...and there were ways to treat it!  We didn't have a high-needs baby or a colicky baby.  We had a reflux baby.

I made Macie a doctor's appointment for the next day.  As is typical with babies, Macie showed her happy, cheerful self to the doctor, but the doctor listened to my concerns and asked lots of questions.  She agreed that Macie was suffering from silent reflux and laid out our options.  She said we could try an elimination diet to see if something I ate was triggering the reflux or we could begin medication.  Considering we had been dealing with a crying, miserable baby for close to a month and we were all desperate for relief, I chose the medication. The doctor counseled me to be aware of the foods I was eating and to pay close attention to anything that seemed to exacerbate the symptoms.  

That evening I gave Macie her first dose of ranitidine (generic Zantac).  Ranitidine is an acid reducer and begins working within an hour, but can take up to three weeks to fully take affect depending how much damage has already been done to the esophagus.  We noticed a change in her temperament the first night!  She was visibly relaxed and nursed to sleep without a fight for the first time in weeks.  Over the next few days, she smiled more and interacted with the older kids.  They were able to start holding her again.  We had to be vigilant about her medication, though. Ranitidine has a very short half-life and Macie would grow irritable when it was near time for her next dose.

About a week after starting the medicine, Macie had another fussy day.  All babies have bad days so I didn't worry, but when we starting having whole strings of bad days, I felt a sense of dread. I read online that ranitidine dosage is sensitive to weight changes.  Since babies grow rapidly, I wondered if she already needed to up her dosage.  

I began researching natural ways to treat reflux and bookmarked this article about natural treatment.  

On Sunday, April 10, we were at a birthday party and I noticed Macie was happy and bubbly all day.  It was a strong contrast to her mood on the preceding days so I took a minute to write down everything I had eaten the day before (Saturday).  I noticed that, quite by accident, I had consumed very little dairy.  However, on Sunday at the party, I ate cheese and ice cream, plus we had pizza for dinner later in the evening. I waited and sure enough, on Monday, we had one of our worst days yet.  It gave me pause.  

Everything I read online said that if dairy was a suspected trigger for a baby's acid reflux, it needed to be totally eliminated from the mom's diet for two weeks.  That was how long it would take for the proteins to leave the body-- and therefore the breastmilk.  I cut dairy from my diet and noticed a reduction in symptoms in 24 hours.  Most noticeably, she only cried when she was sleepy or had a wet diaper, not all day long! For me it followed this formula.  Eat dairy and have a cranky baby the next day.  Avoid dairy and have a happy baby.  

The first few days I was afraid to hope.  Maybe it was coincidence, maybe wishful thinking, or maybe my imagination.  The kids started commenting on it, though.  They noticed how Macie was happy again.  They noticed how I was able to get in the shower before 9 am  instead of hanging out in the PJs until the middle of the afternoon. 

Macie's congestion cleared up, too.  Six days after cutting dairy, the congestion was mild enough to clear on its own in the morning without needing to irrigate and suction.  Nine days after eliminating dairy, she woke up with a clear nose.  The hiccups are better, too.  She still gets them, but only every few days.

Two surprising things came from cutting dairy from my diet.  One: the ranitidine became unnecessary almost overnight.  Where once we were counting the minutes until the next dose, now I would sometimes forget to give it to her right away.  (Cutting the medicine cold turkey can cause an acid rebound..)  And two: her pooping became more regular.  She had been going every four to five days and then having blow-out poops.  Her tummy wasn't hard and it is normal for some breastfed babies to wait days between pooping, but as the milk proteins left her body, she began pooping four to five times per day again.  (The color and consistency were gold and seedy so this was not diarrhea.)

Cutting dairy from my diet has not been as difficult as I expected.  I've never been a milk drinker, but I do miss cheese and I have a feeling that, foregoing ice cream this summer will be tough.  It can be tricky planning meals for my family, too, but there are so many good foods and flavors that don't involve dairy.  It simply takes new thinking. (I also discovered early that she and I can tolerate small bits of chocolate.  Better yet, Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate is made without milk.  The milk chocolate, obviously, but also the dark chocolate, do contain milk.)

I"ve added probiotic supplements both to my diet and to hers, to aid in gut health and healing. I bought mine over the counter at Target.  I specially ordered Macie's from Amazon.  It is a multi-species probiotic in powdered form, made specially for infants that contains 10 billion CFUs. I wet my finger so that the powder will stick and let her suck it off.  She loves it!

Today, Macie had a follow-up with her pediatrician. The doctor was pleased that she has gained weight. Reflux babies often lose weight either from excessive spitting up or because they resist eating when they associate it with pain.  In fact, Macie weighs a little over eleven pounds now-- only the ninth percentile for babies her age, but up from the third percentile where she hovered for awhile. The best thing is that she can use the medicine on a needs-only basis.

There were many days that the kids and I prayed for Macie  and asked the Lord to either make her well or give us patience and the wisdom to comfort her.  We are so thankful for Macie's health!

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Old-school Blogging

Remember when blogs used to be nothing more than glorified family journals? I'm returning to some old-school blogging today with a look at our comings and goings of the past few weeks. (If you follow my blog page on Facebook, you've seen some of the highlights.)

Macie struggled with weight gain during her first six weeks.  She was tiny when she was born-- 6 pounds, 11.5 ounces-- much smaller than either of my other five kids at birth. She also lost some weight in the hospital which is normal.   Those things in themselves were not an issue, but by 16 days old, she was still under birth weight. Her pediatrician was concerned that either she was not getting enough calories per day (perhaps because she tended to sleep long, long stretches at night) or that there was an underlying condition preventing her from absorbing nutrients.  My mother's intuition told me that everything was fine and that she was simply a slow gainer, but for close to a month, we drove back and forth for weight checks.  By the end of February, her weight settled into a stable track, still only in the 3rd-5th percentile but consistent.

In early March, she caught a cold.  It moved into her chest and brought a nasty cough.  Aside from making her want to sleep and eat more often, it seemed like a normal cold, but on the fourth day, she had some trouble breathing.  She starting gagging on mucous and we noticed the skin around her ribs pulling in as she inhaled (intercostal retractions).  Late that night she developed a high-pitched wheeze so we took her to the ER.  She was diagnosed with RSV and given a breathing treatment in the hospital.  We brought home an baby inhaler and spacer with instructions to use it as needed and to take her to her pediatrician the next day.  (We found out later that her oxygen levels were too low and that she should have stayed in the hospital.) We got home at 3 in the morning and she was still very sick so I dozed upright while holding her because I was afraid to lay her down and miss hearing if she was in distress.  By the next afternoon, her oxygen levels returned to normal and she passed the peak of her illness.  (Textbook RSV is worst on the fourth day of illness.)

The problem was that Macie continued to fuss and cry for much of every day.  At first we thought it was irritation from the lingering congestion.  Then I thought maybe I had supply issues and she wasn't getting enough to eat.  Hiccups terribly upset her and she got them multiple times a day.  She stopped sleeping well at night and struggled to settle down for naps.  The kids couldn't hold her anymore without her crying.  I had a few sobbing breakdowns, wondering what had happened to my happy baby.  I'll devote another post to the details, but the short story is that she was diagnosed with silent reflux two weeks ago and after the very first dose of medication, her temperament changed back into our cheerful, smiley baby.  Since then, it's been a roller coaster of ups and downs, but we're working toward a solution.  I suspect I need to eliminate dairy from my diet. 

In the midst of all the tumult, Brian started back to work for his fourteenth year of landscaping and cutting grass.  It was a tremendous blessing to have him home for the first seven weeks of Macie's life as we adapted as a family of eight, but now it was time to begin a new normal and a new schedule. Spring is Brian's busiest time of year, even more so than summer which means he sometimes works past dinner.  I'm very blessed to have children old enough to help in the kitchen or hold a baby while I cook.

I taught the kids to clean their bathroom when Macie was born.  They had taken over the daily freshen-up cleaning routine months before, but I turned over the weekly deep-clean, too.  It's been a game changer, though I've had to lay aside my perfectionist standards and accept good enough.

We bought a new-to-us vehicle.  It seats eight so we can all ride together again.  No more taking two vehicles everywhere we go!  It's bigger and higher off the ground than our minivan, but I can drive it with ease now and I'm started to get more comfortable parking.

The kids beloved gym glass is mid-way through its spring semester.  Maddie continues to attend her book club.  The theme this year is world geography and the specific theme this month is South and Central America.  The other kids love when she attends because it means the rest of us go to McDonald's for ice cream sundaes or cookies. (I'm not a fan of McDonald's food so this is a big treat for them!) Maddie, Owen, Ben, and Alaine are part of a children's choir at church that practices weekly. I even got to participate in an one-time adult choir at church that  sang a song on Easter Sunday. Owen's piano lessons have been on hold since Macie was born, but he still plays semi-regularly and he has taught Ben and Alaine to play "Jesus Loves Me."

School continues on, but we are all looking forward to summer break which should begin in mid-May.  I'm not pinning down a date yet, but I have one in mind.  I've never been a history lover, but I'm enjoying our study this semester, using this book about Abraham Lincoln. Ben finished his math book last week and Owen will finish his on Thursday.  Gavin will complete science by the end of the month.  He loved his study of marine creatures this year, using this book.  He compiled a notebook of sketches and information throughout the year and entered them in a local science fair in March.

We had a friendly family March Madness competition.  We all filled out brackets and kept track of who had the most wins.  A milkshake was the promised treat for the winner.  On the first day, Gavin said, "I want to get a mint Oreo milkshake from Cook Out."  Owen said, " If you win," and Gavin replied, "Oh, I will win."  And he did! Even Alaine who knows nothing about basketball came in only one point behind Brian.

And life continues. 

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
    the guards stand watch in vain. 
 In vain you rise early
    and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
    for he grants sleep to those he loves.
Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him. 
 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
    are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
    whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
    when they contend with their opponents in court.

Psalm 127

Monday, April 4, 2016

The Hands of Time

I began blogging in April of 2008--  eight years ago this month!!  

When I mentioned on my blog's Facebook page last week that next year I'll have one kid in high school, Heather, a long-time blog reader and friend. said she still thought of Gavin and Maddie as chubby-cheeked babies.

Honestly, sometimes I do, too. When I began blogging, Gavin was 5, Maddie was 3, and Owen was 20 months.  Only three of our six kids had been born! 

But children grow and I look at them now and wonder when it happened.

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Why everyone should have a baby when there are older children in the house

Macie will be 2 months old this week.  My other five kids range in age from 5 to 13.  In fact, we're at the easy part of the year when there is an even two years between everyone's ages-- 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13.  That all changes when birthday season begins in July!   When the others were tiny, motherhood was physically demanding.  There was always someone who needed to be carried or bathed or fed.  It was also mentally and emotionally demanding.  How can I meet the needs of all these little people well?  How can I do it and not let my house disintegrate into dust and clutter?

The 5-year break between kids gave me surprising perspective.  I don't feel as though I'm the same mom I was to the others.  Everyone needs to have a baby when they have older kids in the house.  Obviously I speak in jest.  I know people can't or don't have children for a variety of reasons, but there is peace and clarity that comes with time and age.

This time around I have older children who want to share my workload.  They ask if they can help-- to vacuum, cook, or hold the baby.  Having responsible baby-holders (versus ones who must be hovered over while they practice with the baby propped on pillows) is a game-changer. Moms of tiny ones understand the luxury of putting on a load of laundry using both hands.  Or even-- gasp!-- going to the bathroom alone. 

As on older mom, I also have the wisdom of fleeting time.  I understand and appreciate that this baby could be the last and I'm able to savor her a little more.  I'm in no hurry for her to grow up.  When she abandoned that scrunched-up newborn pose, with her legs pulled to her body in a classic fetal position, I felt a little sad inside. Watching her little legs developing fat rolls and witnessing her first gummy smiles are rocking my world. Each milestone is sweet. 

I'm not even minding the lack of sleep.  Admittedly, Macie is a good sleeper.  [She naps in the front wrap every morning.  She sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon in bed on her own and catnaps in arms in the evening.  She typically goes to bed around ten, waking once or twice to nurse before getting up at seven.]  But life and sleep with a baby is unpredictable and I'm learning not to mind.  I can even smile when I'm rubbing my sleepy eyes as I sit up with a nursing or wide awake baby in the wee hours of the morning. 

You know how everyone tells you to enjoy the baby years because they go so quickly.  I used to believe it my mind but struggle to put it into practice.  Now I've witnessed the truth of those words and I'm finally at a place where I can let go and savor.  Sure.  I still get frustrated and wish I could get more sleep or wish I could do something besides hold the baby all day long, but I know this stage won't last. I'm able to say to myself, "It's only one night. This isn't forever."  I'm don't have to rock my 13-year-old to sleep and my 11-year-old does not wake me at 5 am.  It won't last.

Before Macie was born, the ladies at my church gave me a baby shower.  Each woman in attendance wrote a message of encouragement on the front of a diaper.  They were called "middle of the night" diapers and were meant to uplift my spirit as I shuffled through the sleep-deprived nights with a newborn.  As it turns out, Macie was too tiny to wear those diapers in the beginning, but we're delving into them now.  I choose one on days or moments when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable or overwhelmed. Reminders that "the days (and nights) are long, but the years are short" or "the Lord will see you through" are just what I need at those times.  Another diaper said simply, "Pray," so I did.  And another said, "Eat a cookie." It's good advice all around! 

I think I'm gaining a new perspective on bad days.  A few weeks ago, we had a day when Macie didn't sleep or stop crying almost all day long.  Last Sunday, she was restless, fussy, and loud throughout the morning and I spent most of the church service out in the hall, even though a few of my kids were singing with the children's choir and I wanted to watch them!   On Tuesday, every time I laid Macie down for a nap, she woke back up, and didn't settle down for good until after 3 pm!  I texted Brian that we were having a rough day.  He texted back that he was sorry and I surprised myself by responding, "Just life.  It's okay."  And I meant it.  Despite my frustration, lack of free time, and the state of my messy house, I was choosing to put it in perspective. Those days, and any other day, is just a blip in time.

All this is not to show what a great and patient person I am.   I am not.   I like things just-so and prefer schedules-- and all things-- to go my way.  It's not to brag that I can get less sleep and not complain.  I do sometimes.  But the Lord is working on me.  Having a baby with older children in the house is transforming my thinking.  I'm more focused on people, not perfection.  Motherhood is changing me. 

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Wednesday, March 2, 2016

A Lazy Mom Teaches Geography

Homeschooling five children is not for the faint of heart!  For me, one of the most difficult parts is balancing everyone's individual needs and dividing my attention among them.  When I can find a way to fulfill an educational need by doing the kinds of things we would be doing anyway, it's a win for all of us.

That's why this year, Ben (2nd grade) and Alaine (kindergarten) are learning geography through a series of library books that I'm reading aloud to them.

We began with the Bella and Harry seriesby Lisa Manzione.  These are aimed toward younger children (maybe ages 3 through 7), but my older kids have been known to peek over my shoulder...or even sit by my side while we read.  The books follow two Chihuahuas around the world as they travel with their human unnamed family.  The dogs sample local cuisine and stop at major landmarks in cities such as Athens, Jerusalem, and Venice.  My favorite part is the short glossary of foreign words in the back of each book. We have fun trying to pronounce the words and figure out what they mean before we peek at the translations.  There are close to twenty books in this series and they do not need to be read in order.

In February, we switched to the Dodsworth seriesby Tim Egan.  These books are a little longer, short enough to be read in one sitting, but comprised of short chapters.  Dodsworth is a mouse who reluctantly travels with an annoying duck (?!) to visits five major cities. (It's a short series.)  These books follow a basic storyline so they may make more sense read in order.  The first book, Dodsworth in New York, is light on geography.  It mentions various NYC tourist destinations, but its primary role is to set up the rest of the series.

Do you find lazy ways to teach your children?  Share your secrets.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Running and Fitness with a Newborn

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One question I've been asked several times since Macie's birth is, "When can you start running again?"

My answer is a little conflicted.  

A little backstory:  I ran throughout my pregnancy.  I ran during the early weeks of morning sickness and right up until the day my water broke.  It boosted my energy level and stabilized my weight gain.  As I neared the end of the pregnancy, I tried to imagine how running would fit into my life with a newborn, suspecting the logistics would be tough.

For the first four or five weeks of Macie's life, I savored the break.  Even though I enjoy running, I knew my body needed rest and recuperation.  By six weeks, the desire to run returned, but I also started to face reality.  I may feel mentally ready to run, but I'm not sure my body is ready for it.  Despite staying fit during pregnancy, my back and lower abdomen are weak and achy postpartum.  My core needs strengthening before running will be comfortable or even advisable.

On top of that, my ideal time to run is early in the morning...but that's when Macie wakes to nurse.  She almost always goes back to sleep until eight or nine, but once I miss that early morning window, I need to use my time to manage breakfast, start school with the kids, or wash my face and hair!  I get a little sad when I realize a regular running routine is probably months away.  Aside from an occasional weekend run this spring, running can't be a priority for me in this season. 

I'm choosing to adopt the idea that a little exercise is better than no exercise at all.  Starting this coming Remember: a little exercise if better than none  at all!
week, I'm purposing to exercise in the house for 20 minutes at a time on 3 different days. I'm hoping that popping in a postpartum DVD (versus gearing up for the outdoors) will be easier to slip into my schedule.  I can exercise while Macie is right beside me and I can break it into smaller sessions, too, if she is fussy. 

Movement and health are my motivators.  Weight loss is not my goal and since breastfeeding burns 300-500 per day, I'm also focusing on high quality nutrition.  I can always find time to eat!  

Any tips for me?  
How can I strengthen my core muscles?  
Any experience with exercising or running postpartum?  
What are some nutrient dense snacks I can keep on hand?

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