Why Having a Baby Is Hard...(and that's okay!)

I'm a sixth-time mom, but experience does not make it easy.  I still worry about why my baby won't sleep or why my boys can't get through day without picking on each other.  I'm also not immune to other people's opinions, looks, and comments.  

I do feel like I have the benefit of perspective this go-round, though.  I know every stage and every trial only lasts for  a short season. Baby days turn into toddler days.  Arguing boys transform into teenagers with a new set of cares.

My advice to new or young moms (or older moms, like me) is to choose whatever sleep situation allows everyone to the get the most sleep.  Trying to force something that isn't working just leaves everyone miserable.  They won't always be waking up, won't always be in your room, won't always be needing you all night.  

Smile at the people in the grocery store who tell you your hands are full or who ask nosy questions or who glare when your child is whining in the juice aisle.

Don't worry about the days when the kids...or you!...watch too much TV.  Everyone can be more productive tomorrow.

Some days, maybe many days, will be lonely and you'll long to talk to someone besides the baby. Loneliness is a real thing, but kids grow up and you'll realize the monotonous days were worth it.

I'm going to repeat something I wrote on the blog seven years ago because it is still true today:

In [our] inner struggle to determine cloth or disposable, homeschool or public, organic or not, my bed or his own, have I put too much merit in trivialities?  In deciding whether to expose my little ones to vaccines or food dyes or television, have I remembered the crux of the matter?

Does Gavin know Jesus?  Is Maddie living for Him?  Will Owen and Benjamin [and Alaine and Macie] spend eternity in Heaven? 

In the end, that's what matters.

(Click here for other posts in this series.)

Why Having a Baby Is Hard...(and that's okay!)

I'm a sixth-time mom, but experience does not make it easy.  I still worry about why my baby won't sleep or why my boys can't get through day without picking on each other.  I'm also not immune to other people's opinions, looks, and comments.  

I do feel like I have the benefit of perspective this go-round, though.  I know every stage and every trial only lasts for  a short season. Baby days turn into toddler days.  Arguing boys transform into teenagers with a new set of cares.

My advice to new or young moms (or older moms, like me) is to choose whatever sleep situation allows everyone to the get the most sleep.  Trying to force something that isn't working just leaves everyone miserable.  They won't always be waking up, won't always be in your room, won't always be needing you all night.  

Smile at the people in the grocery store who tell you your hands are full or who ask nosy questions or who glare when your child is whining in the juice aisle.

Don't worry about the days when the kids...or you!...watch too much TV.  Everyone can be more productive tomorrow.

Some days, maybe many days, will be lonely and you'll long to talk to someone besides the baby. Loneliness is a real thing, but kids grow up and you'll realize the monotonous days were worth it.

I'm going to repeat something I wrote on the blog seven years ago because it is still true today:

In [our] inner struggle to determine cloth or disposable, homeschool or public, organic or not, my bed or his own, have I put too much merit in trivialities?  In deciding whether to expose my little ones to vaccines or food dyes or television, have I remembered the crux of the matter?

Does Gavin know Jesus?  Is Maddie living for Him?  Will Owen and Benjamin [and Alaine and Macie] spend eternity in Heaven? 

In the end, that's what matters.

(Click here for other posts in this series.)

The Evening Walk

I'll start off by clarifying that Macie is a "good" sleeper.  She loves her afternoon nap in a cool room, with a fan blowing for air and noise.  Most nights she sleeps all the way through or wakes to nurse once, going back to her bed as soon as she's done.  She went through a brief phase (thankfully!) when she thought 5 am was an acceptable wake time, but we're back to a more workable 6:30 or 7. However, bedtime is our kryponite.  

She gets tired and falls asleep by 7:30, but then she wakes up and wants to stay awake until we go to bed.  She's often cranky, and it's frustrating to a mama and daddy who are also tired at the end of the day. We've tried cutting her afternoon nap short, giving her a quick power nap in the early evening, or postponing her bedtime until a little later.  None of it has solved the problem.  We're still working on finding a pleasing scenario...one that gives all of us the rest and down time we need in the evenings.  

Until then, we're choosing another way to combat the frustrations without twiddling our thumbs and counting the minutes until we can attempt to put her to bed again.  

It started one Saturday evening.  The older kids had settled into watching a movie... and Macie woke up, raring to go for another couple of hours.  The humidity was low, the temperature was mild, and there was a light breeze so Brian and I put on our shoes and I popped Macie into the sling for a walk.

We walked and walked and talked and talked.  We covered three slow leisurely miles as we discussed jobs, parenting, movies, the past, the future, church, and the scenery.   Macie hummed as we strolled.  We took a phone call from the kids wondering why we were still outside.  When we returned home, Macie snuggled into bed with zero issues, and both Brian and I benefited from the fresh air and felt renewed from the conversation and exercise.

A few nights later, Brian was working late, and Macie repeated her late nap ritual.  Ben was feeling discouraged from an argument with a sibling so this time I asked him to put on his shoes and take a walk with me.  We didn't go as far, but the walk opened him up to conversation.  He shared his hurt and moved on to happy topics, too, like the birds he could see and the objects discarded along the road.  (A fork?!) 

Now everyone is waiting for their chance to be asked to take the evening walk. 

Picture Books Aren't Just For Toddlers

{This post contains Amazon affiliate links.}

Alaine and I have developed a happy routine of reading books together after our family morning viewing is done. I've been surprising her by having whole stack of books waiting via the hold shelf when we visit the library weekly. Each morning, she chooses several and we read together until Macie gets bored and can't be distracted from grabbing and chewing the pages. 

I've been sharing some of our favorites in quick blips on the blog's Facebook page, but several of you expressed interest in an occasional list on the blog, too.

The three I'm featuring today are picture books that not only appeal to older kids, but are actually better suited for the older set.

Moonshot: The Flight of Apollo 11  by Brian Floca

This book is unique in that it shares facts about this famous flight in a flowing, almost-poetic style.  I almost wish I waited to read it when we study the era in school this coming school year, but Gavin and I were enticed so we went for it. We learned the names of the three astronauts aboard and wondered why only two are household names.  We read about how the astronauts sleep and eat...and use the bathroom!... in space. I don't think Alaine (5) appreciated the book nearly as much as Gavin (13) and I did. 

Chopsticks by Amy Rosenthal

It's usually Maddie (11) who peeks over my shoulder when I read to Alaine, but Gavin shared this one with us, too.  It is technically written for young children, but they surely do not understand all the wordplay and inside jokes like someone a bit more mature.  

The Hole Story of the Doughnut by Pat Miller

This one might be a cheat because I already mentioned it on the Facebook page, but it's too fun to miss. Also along the food theme, this book is the story of the invention of the donut.  There are various tall tales detailing the creation of this confection, but this is supposedly the true version. Either way, it's a entertaining book, especially if you indulge in a donut before or after you read. (Don't miss the author's note in the back of the book!)