Thursday, July 5, 2012

How Do You...Deal With Lying?

How do you deal with...and stop!...lying? 
Our 8yo lies constantly!! No matter how minor/major the subject (grabbing an extra cookie, leaving her shoes out, hitting her brother, etc.), she lies about it. She lies because she doesn't want to get into trouble, yet she gets into even more trouble for the lie. How do we get this fact to sink into her, and how do we 100% stop the lying all together? 
submitted by Sarah B.

I believe lying is a heart issue.  Even if  I could force my child to stop lying, if she is only stopping because she has to and not because she knows it is wrong, the problem will still fester under the surface. 

That being said, when a child has inappropriate behavior, there must be consequences.  In our house, we know that consistency is key.  No matter how many times we have to correct a misdeed and how discouraging it feels when the lesson seems to not be sinking in, we try to keep on the same track.  We're currently dealing with picking and fighting after we put our two youngest boys to bed.  Every night, we tuck them in with kisses, giggles and prayers.  Right before we leave the room, we remind them of the rules of bedtime: no loud talking, no touching, no tickling.  And every single night,  at least one boy pushes the limits so every single night, either Brian or I has to go back into the room to correct them and issue consequences. 

Sometimes I want to give up, separate the two of them, and be done with it, but I know that is only a short-term solution. They need to learn to abstain from their sinful behavior!

I have never had a habitual liar among my children, but often enough a disagreement will break out and I'll be given two conflicting sides of a story.  I urge both parties to tell the truth and share the true details of what happened.  Many times, though, neither child will change their story and I am unable to decipher who is telling the truth.  At those times I give a speech like this:  "I'm so sad that someone is not telling the truth.  I can't know who that person is, but Jesus knows.  If you are the one telling the lie, I want you to realize that even though Mama doesn't know what happened, He does." 

How do you deal with lying in your household?  Let us know in the comments. 

Also, if you have a question for a future "How Do You...?" post, share that in the comments, too, or send me an e-mail! I'd love to hear from you. 


  1. We agree with the saying that people will continue to do what works for them. So when we know someone has lied we typically issue one consequence for the misbehavior and another consequence for telling the lie. The lie consequence is more severe to help them realize that lying isn't doing them any good.

    If we don't know who is lying we usually handle it like you do, by letting them know that even if we don't know the truth, God always does. We remind them that lying does not please God.

    We've also been working on memorizing scripture for issues our kids struggle with. Here are a few good verses for lying: Job 27:4, Psalm 101:7, and Psalm 120:2 (this one is talking about others' lies, but they can ask God to save them from their own lying as well).

  2. My 4 yr old lies about everything. A lot of the time she volunteers a lie (she'll come up to me and nonchalantly say something like, "I didn't hit my brother" which means that's exactly what she did)I can always get her to tell me the truth eventually, but the fact that she continually lies really bothers me. If she does something naughty, she'll be disciplined for it. If she lies about it too, the discipline will be twice as bad. So far, this hasn't really encouraged her to tell the truth though :(


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