Thursday, August 23, 2012

How Do You...Deal With Comments? (a follow-up)

Apparently my post last week about responding to negative comments about my family really hit a chord.  According to this article, the average American family size is 1.9 children.  To me, my family of seven feels normal so I am always surprised how even families of  two or three kids get looks or have to answer questions about their size. 

Today, I want to run a little follow-up about what some of you said in the comments and on my Facebook page. 

Jenna said:

My "favorite" comment that I get now is "ohhhh, you FINALLY got a girl! So are you done now?"  UGH!!! I didn't "finally" get a girl; I was blessed with 2 wonderful boys and then a sweet girl.

When people ask if I'm done, I shrug and smile and say we don't know but we don't think so.

Allyson said:

This post is so timely. Tim and I were just discussing how I can answer the people (especially at the grocery store) who comment about me having my hands full. (I counted 19 "you have your hands full" comments yesterday alone.)

I always smile and say "Yes, I do." I've read how others answer these comments but their answers sound fake when I say them, especially the, "Yes, my hands are full, but so is my heart." While I may feel that way I don't talk like that :)

However, I also find that the majority of people who say I have my hands full end up complimenting my children's behavior in the next breath. I agree that usually their comments about the number of children in our family are fueled by surprise or by their own feelings that they would not be able to handle any more children than they already have :)

Angela said:  

Oh, I love this one. I usually say, We couldn't imagine life without them, or we have so much fun together.. or something along that line. More than wanting my children to know they are loved.. I like to take mean comments as a way to search my own heart, and share a kind comment back to the person to get them to think.

I often am at home thinking of loving responses to different comments that I haven't heard before. At times the comment has sparked a nice conversation where I would in the past feel the person was just trying to be rude.

The same day my post went up, I saw links to several other articles about large families that I think I could have written myself! 

12 Things Moms of Big Families May Want You to Know by Kelly @ The Complete Guide to Imperfect Homemaking

Top 10 Reasons to Have a Large Family by Amy @ Raising Arrows

My favorite comment of the day, though, was from my friend Dana on Facebook.  

Dana said:

My standard response to the "you sure do have your hands full" comment is "Yes! I do! We love having a large family!" I can't even count how many people have told me that I'm a saint to have that many kids. Ha ha! Well...if a saint is a sinner, saved by grace, then, yes, that's me. 

My children will often pipe up and say, "Well, if you think WE have a lot of kids, you should see how many our cousins have!"

Wanna know who Dana's kids' cousins are?! 

The Duggars. 


  1. Anyone related to the Duggars must feel like they have a small family in comparison :)

    By the way, my sister met the Duggars when she attended a friend's wedding last year (or maybe the year before). My sister's friend is also a Duggar cousin I believe.

  2. I have three kids and I get the usual "you have your hands full" comments. However, the other day as I was walking through the store (baby in the front of the cart screaming, three year old standing in the cart asking for everything, and my five year old hanging off the side), a lady looked at me and said, "Well, that looks like a buggy full of fun!" I was pleasantly surprised. It actually helped me deal better with the rest of our trip!


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