Family Devotions

I was surprised at the response to my Tri-Moms post on family worship.  I'll admit I was nervous about addressing the topic because the reaction to our decision to worship at home has not always been positive.  Several of you have asked questions (about tithing and communion and fellowship).  I will get to those later this week, but for now, this is a look at our family devotions time. 

Bible Study

Family devotions at our house is a weekly event, much like going to church would be.  We pray together daily as a family and during the school year, the kids and I daily work on our memory verses and read the Bible together, but our more in-depth study as a family is a once-a-week affair.  Brian has been struggling for years to find something that all of the kids-- from the youngest to the oldest-- can engage in together.  We don't like fluff, but we still want something to engage them on their level.  

For about a year now, Brian has been working with them through Shirley's Dobson's My Bible Coloring Book. Each page lists the Bible reference for a particular story and he reads to us straight from the Bible (either the NIV or the NLT).  We all discuss it and Brian usually asks questions and asks someone to tell the story back to him.  After we are done, we pray together and then the kids run to the table to color their picture.  

Several weeks ago he chose to take a break from the coloring books to work our way through The Answers Book for Kids series written by Ken Ham.  We chose this series as a continuation of the worldview study we began in the winter.  Each of the four books in the series addresses a different general topic.  (Volume 1 is Creation and the Fall.  Volume 2 is Dinosaurs and the Flood of Noah.  Volume 3 is God and the Bible.  Volume 4 is Sin, Salvation, and the Christian Life.)  The books are recommended for ages 6-12, but Owen, our almost 5-year-old, can grasp many of the concepts.  Who wouldn't like to read a whole lesson about whether Adam and Eve had belly buttons?!  

Family devotions time is a happy and flexible time.  Sometimes we go outside.  Sometimes everyone sits around the coffee table with cookies (and coffee for Daddy). We expect respect and reverence, but we do let the kids be relaxed.

Prayer

This is another aspect Brian has been working on with the kids for a long time! He wants them to understand that praying is nothing more than talking to God.  He wants them to thank Him as well as ask Him for things.  Some of the kids have a tendency to say a rote prayer, "Thanks for my day.  Thanks for everything you've given us," every time and not think about what they really want to say so we're all working on that together. 

We pray aloud during our family time.  Usually Brian assigns an order: Gavin then Owen then Ben (yes, the 2-year-old prays, too!) and so on.  Last week, we tried something new.  Brian began the prayer and then he paused.  Whatever child wanted to go next could then jump in and when they were done, they would pause.  Then the next child could begin.  No one was require to pray, but everyone did.  I ended the prayer after everyone else  had their chance. 

 Singing

Worship is not complete without singing our praise.  We don't often include this in our family time, though maybe we should.  However, we are always, always singing in our house.  Since Gavin was a baby, we have listened to "Hide 'Em In Your Heart", a 2-volume set of scriptures set to music.  

I also want my children to be familiar with the words of the old hymns. We (as in all of us-- the whole family) love Kids' Praise 7: "Psalty's Hymnological Adventure Through Time", a fun musical CD of the stories behind a handful of well-known hymns.  We also discovered "Hymns For A Kid's Heart" in the spring.  We were able to enjoy Volume 1 (which I believe is out of print) from our local library, but we ordered Volume 4 to keep for our own and to use in our coming school year.

*****

We choose to live the words of Psalm 34:1: "I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips."  We want our relationship with the Lord to be ever-changing, ever-growing.  Therefore, our family worship and family devotions time is just a springboard to a life of praise and devotion to our Savior.

Tri-Moms: Family Worship

The Tri-Moms want to delve into a conversation about family worship this week.  Our family has not regularly attended a church for five or six years.   It was a tough decision, but it is our conscious choice (not a default decision).  Though I can discuss our reasons sometime if anyone is interested, today I want to address the insecurities of Christ-following families who do not attend a church building.

It seems as though more and more of us are, for a variety of reasons, are choosing to leave the establishment to bring our worship into the home.  Others are new to an area and searching for a church but have not yet found a church family...and some are not new to an area, but have chosen to find a new church home for another reason, but the search is stalled.  This is for all of us!

We did not make this decision lightly or without great thought and prayer.  These are the two big issues for us (and maybe for you):

1) Can you be a Christian but not go to church?

The New Testament is clear that The Church is not a building, The Church is His people-- The Body of Christ.  Paul paints a beautiful picture of this Body in Corinthians.  When we are tempted to think that by not going to church we are somehow not a part of this Body, we look to I Corinthians 12: 14, 18-21, 26-27:

Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.  But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.  If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body.  The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

This is illustrated daily in our own family. Some of us are ears: good listeners.  Some of us are mouths: gifted peacemakers.  Some of us are hands: dinner makers.  {Wink.}  Within our family unit, we are examples of the Body every day and when we meet with others, we naturally continue.

...which leads into our next insecurity:

2) What about where the Bible says not to stop meeting with other Christians?

This is sort of the like the thinking that if a child is homeschooled, he therefore is not socialized.  If we learned at home and worshiped at home and stayed at home all the time,  maybe this could be a valid concern. But we don't live in a box.  We meet with friends and welcome friends into our home.  We fellowship with family and people of all ages.  We meet and share with like-minded folk in our homeschool group and co-op.  We take meals to those in need.  We pray and discuss Scripture with others in our home and theirs.

Hebrews 10: 24-25 says:

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 

 It says not to give up meeting together.  It doesn't say meeting must occur in a church building.

Choosing to worship at home may be a short season for us or it may be a longer one.  We are open to the Lord's leading, but while we wait, we are encouraged by the words of Matthew 18:20:

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

Two or three.  He promises to be with us even if our group is small.  That means He is with us when we sing and pray as a family.  He is with us as we cry with a hurting friend on the phone.  He is with us when we share a meal with other believers.  What a promise!

(This week I'll share a little about our family devotions time and how we worship in our home so be sure to stop back in.)

In the meantime, hop over to Kathi's blog and Suzanne's blog, too, and read what they have to say about family worship.   And of course, hop back here and link up to your blog post about how or why you worship at home.

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Up next: August 2
  Summer Fun on a Budget

How do you entertain your family with limited expense?

Do you have a great list of family movies?

Not got a lot of time, but want to share a picture of your family's cheap fun?

Consider linking up!

Coming Soon:

August 16: Clothing a Bunch

Sorrow

My PopPop 
George Baxter 
July 4, 1924- July 12, 2011

My grandfather passed away tonight.  He turned 87 a week ago on July 4th and celebrated the day at a family picnic.  But...his health had been failing since a stroke in the spring. 

He and my grandmother had been married 66 years and together they raised 8 children.  They have 18 grandchildren and 26 great-grandchildren.  PopPop's name was George Baxter.  He passed his middle name onto my dad, Ronald Baxter, the 5th child and 2nd son.  We were blessed to pass that name on to our own Owen Baxter, our 3rd child and 2nd son.  

I grew up with four grandparents and now, at the age of 30, I have lost the first one.  I know I am blessed to have had this many years with him.  (My own children know the joy of only 3 grandparents, as Brian's dad passed away almost 7 years ago.) 

There is sadness, but there is also joy.  Tonight as we prayed with the kids before bed, Brian reminded us that tonight PopPop is in his heavenly home where his body is no longer weak and failing.  We are blessed by his Godly example and are beyond blessed for the Godly heritage.  

Weeping may remain for a night, 
but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

Are You Homeschooling With a Baby...and Maybe a Toddler, Too?

This is my "I've been there" story:

Each of my kids is about 2 years apart.  The smallest span is 20 months and the largest span is 26 months, but it is safe to say we have had a new babe about every other year.  There are numerous blessings with this arrangement.  My kids are the best of friends.  (Don't think this means they don't argue or nitpick!)  There is always someone around to play dress-up or share a story or push you on the swing.  Hand-me-downs don't have time to go out of style before being passed to the next child and bath time can be a big party since I can plop two or three little ones into the tub at the same time. 

The close spacing has had its share of challenges, too.  I haven't gone one day in over 8 ½ years without changing a diaper, and there have been many months with more than one child in diapers.  Collectively, I have spent 109 months nursing so far.  (Do the math and you'll find that means I even tandem nursed for a bit.)  The noise level in our house can be intolerable, sometimes from silly squabbles and sometimes from nothing more than many voices talking at once.  Loading kids into the van is a bit tricky, too.  Two of my kids can strap their own seatbelts now, but 3 of them still need help with the buckles. 

Perhaps the toughest challenge has been homeschooling the older children with a baby in the mix.  When Benjamin was born in 2008, Gavin was in 1st grade.  Maddie was doing a bit of phonics work at the table each day, but that still left me with a 2-year-old (Owen) and an infant.

February 2009

 I've spoken before about how Owen defined the term "high needs child."  He has always been sensitive to noises, colors in his food, tags in his shirt, cooking smells, strangers, and crowds.  He had a difficult time playing alone and needed to be entertained constantly.  Every issue--big or small-- was a reason to cry and he cried multiple times a day, every day.  If Owen had been my only child, perhaps it wouldn't have been as difficult, but tending to him while teaching two others and caring for a baby was a daunting responsibility.  

The school year after Benjamin was born was tough.  I knew that homeschooling was the right way for us and that thought kept us hanging on, but there were days I didn't know if we'd make it.  Of course, I knew we'd all physically get through, but emotionally, I was a wreck.  We'd have good school days and then we'd have days where I would try to teach Gavin his math lesson with a clingy, whiny toddler in my lap and a baby putting an eraser in his mouth and trying to tear the pages out of the book.  I wondered why in the world we were even attempting to do this!  

If I had any doubt that we weren't called to homeschooling, I would have closed up shop that year, but I knew I could never send my kids off on the big yellow bus.  We were home for a reason and those reasons hadn't changed.

May 2009

Summer break was a God-send that year.  Images of the school year haunted me all June and July, though.  I dreaded starting back up again.  I knew when school commenced, I would have a 2nd grader, a kindergartener, a 3-year-old, and a 10-month-old crawling explorer, but somehow, though the days were still hard, the summer break had changed us.  I felt freer to stop when we needed to stop, to do our school work sprawled on the floor if it was the easiest way to keep up with the littlest ones, to go to the library and call it school, to remember that life is learning and that the atmosphere of our home was more important than cramming academics.

September 2010

I had the chance to do it all again two years later when Alaine was born.  She was due in mid-September so we started our school year in early August, allowing a 6-week jump-start before the rigors of schooling a 3rd grader and a 1st grader with a pre-schooler (Owen), toddler (Benjamin) and a baby!  Alaine had other plans.  She made her appearance 3 weeks early.  We took a 2 week break from school and then began to ease back in.  I was prepared for tears.  I was prepared for confusion and taking lots of breaks.  However, it went much more smoothly this time.  Owen was a little older and enjoyed doing his own workbooks at the table and Alaine was a quiet content baby.  Benjamin was...well, Benjamin was 2.  He had his toddler breakdowns, but it didn't get me down this time.

January 2011

My mom has said many times that homeschooling with a baby is the easy part.  It's homeschooling with a toddler that's the challenge.  At 10 months, Alaine is standing alone and taking a few steps.   She likes to get into our school drawers.  I caught her with purple marker on her hands yesterday.  It seems as though we will have a full-blown toddler by the time school resumes in August, but still it doesn't scare me as much as thinking of   homeschooling with those dangerous postpartum, weepy hormones.

If I could go back to that super-difficult year, there are two things I would tell myself:

1) Recognize that it is hard.  It is very hard.  Also recognize that it will get better.  So what if you skip math (or science or phonics) for a week... or 4 weeks?  There won't always be an infant in the house.

2) Don't feel guilty about letting the little ones watch more TV than usual.  Don't feel guilty about handing out more snacks or letting the toddler go all day in just a diaper.  Don't feel guilty about serving peanut butter and jelly for lunch every day.  It is all about survival at the beginning.  If survival mode needs to continue for months, that's okay, too.  Looking back, you'll realize that a few extra hours of TV and an extra helping of goldfish don't really matter in the long run.

What does matter in the long run is happy memories and a happy family.   

 

Townhouse Living

Alternately titled: Big Family in a Small Space

Allyson said...

One of the home options available to us right now is a 2 bedroom townhome, but I'm not sure how townhome living will affect our family. Would you mind giving me some ideas of what it was like for your family to live in a townhome?

We lived in a townhouse from April 2005 through  April 2011. Before  we moved in, we had been living in a small 2-bedroom apartment.  We had 2 kids-- a 2-year-old and an 8-month-old.  When we moved out, we had 5 kids, ages 8, 6, 4, 2, and 8 months.  Our townhouse was about 1200 square feet, but we used one bedroom exclusively for storage so we figure we had about 1100 square feet of living space.  There were times when we felt cramped and desperately wanted more space!  I think Brian felt it more than I did.  I was there all day long so it was my cozy space and I made it work, but after Brian had been at work all day, he came home and the tight space could be confining.  I don't mean to say that he complained about it.  The small space just bothered him more than it did me.


We had to be very careful about how much "stuff" came into our house.  We had to limit large toys and toys with small pieces.  The 4 older kids shared a bedroom and the baby shared our room.  Their kids' closet was relatively large so we stored toys on shelves and hung up a lot of their clothes.  We also had a storage spot in their closet for underwear, socks, and PJs. 

For me, the hardest part of living in a townhouse was our lack of privacy.  Any time we went anywhere, our neighbors knew.  Most of our neighbors were friendly and none of them were nosy, but just knowing they knew our every move was a little disconcerting.  We had no problem with noise.  Apparently the walls were built thick, but I still worried when the kids got rowdy or loud.  When we moved into our new house, it was amazing how much freer we felt to come and go. 

She also asked...

Any creative ways of playing with kids outside in a very limited space?

  

I'm sure we didn't go outside  nearly enough.  Again, it was the privacy issue and the lack of space. We did have a sand table on our back patio that got lots of use, although the neighborhood kids used it, too, and enjoyed throwing our sand on the ground.  We went through a lot of sidewalk chalk.  That was a way to be out in the fresh air without needing a lot of space to move.  We also had quite a collection of bikes and tricycles to use on the many sidewalks around our house. For you, that would depend on the roads near your house and whether such an activity would be safe. Bubbles were another fun thing.  I would blow and the kids would chase and pop.

...and...

What suggestions would you give for storing/organizing homeschool material in the main living quarters?

I had to be careful about the amount of homeschool stuff I collected.  We had a tall bookshelf in our bedroom.  One shelf was devoted to homeschool things I wasn't currently using.  That included Bible books we were finished with or math books in a level we hadn't reached or sewing cards or math manipulatives,  plus supplies like paper and markers.  We had another bookshelf downstairs that housed the kids' favorite books and the books we used all the time as a family (the dictionary, a medical book, etc.).  I reserved the  very short top shelf for stacking homeschool materials we used often: current teacher guides, our art prints for the year, the 3-hole punch.  Sometimes I also used the top of the bookshelf to house loose papers like our reading list or coloring sheets.  Finally, each of the older kids had a small tote bag or backpack to hold their personal workbooks and pencils.  We tucked those beside the bookshelf and I insisted on neatness.  No sloppily tossed bags allowed! 

Channeling His Inner Picasso

Tri-Moms: Bulk Shopping

When Kathi suggested we talk about bulk shopping this week, I'll admit I wondered if I would have anything at all to say.  We do not do the whole warehouse shopping thing.  We have purchased a membership to Sam's Club several times in the past, but we found that we didn't use it enough to justify the upfront money, and until we moved in May, we didn't have the space to store large quantities. 

Still, compared to when we were a family of three or four, most of our purchases as a family of seven can be considered "bulk."  Gone are the days of 4-packs of toilet paper and quarts of milk.  So while I don't have bunches of advice or tips on how you can be the master of bulk shopping, I can share how we handle our larger than average purchases.

1) We grocery shop every other week.  I make a huge list, the cart is heaped, and the bags are bulging.  We (the kids and I) make an effort to get everything we need for meals and snacks for the next two weeks so we don't make repeat trips to the store.  (We try, but sometimes we do miss an item or two.)  We make an exception for milk, apples, and bananas.  We restock those items between regular grocery trips. 

2) Every Friday night or Saturday, we make a Walmart run for non-food items.  We've chosen to keep this separate from food shopping.  On Thursday nights (our bills night), we make a list.  We verbally run through the list of things we may need.  Shampoo?  Nope, we have plenty.  Toothpaste?  No.  Diapers?  Yes, both kids are almost out.  Dish soap?  No, we're good.  Laundry soap?  Yes, we're getting low.  Again, we are careful to get everything we need because there won't be another shopping chance until the following weekend.  In general, we don't stock up on many items, the exception being the weeks before I'm due to give birth.  Then we make sure we have at least double of everything so we can be free to snuggle the new baby instead of running out for napkins or deodorant!

***

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Suzanne is the linky hostess for this week. 

Up next: July 19
 Worshiping at Home
Do you worship at home on Sundays? Consider chiming in!  
Do you regularly attend a church?  You can join us, too!

Think about family devotions...think about music you play at home...think of how you build each other up.
Think...and tell us about it!

Linky Hostess: me

Coming Soon:

August  2: Summer Fun on a Budget

August 16: Clothing a Bunch

When Your Aunt Is Only 10

My youngest sister, Bekah,  is 10 years old.  

That makes her just 20 months older than my Gavin, her nephew! 

It is pretty neat when your aunt is also one of your best friends.

Bekah spent this hot, sunny day at our house.  

It began with a demure dip in the pool.

Don't let the plastic smiles fool you.

By afternoon, the pool was old news and we had moved on to the bigger guns...

sailing down the super-slippery playground slide.  

Stumbling.  Laughing.

Falling. Giggling.

And tearing up the grass just a bit (much to Brian's chagrin)!

(What is a hot day without a drink from the hose?!
Several of the kids had to sample the rubbery goodness.) 

Everyone was worn out by dinner time.  

One even fell asleep at the table. 

The rest managed to eat their dinner and their 4th of July cake...

but ALL were sound asleep by 9 o'clock!

         

Oh, happy day!

Copywork For The Younger Set

Jana said...

I know you've mentioned that Gavin does copywork on a daily basis. Do you do copywork with the younger crew (those just learning to read/write sentences)? If not, what do you do for writing practice?

~~~~~~~~~~~

We loosely do a Charlotte Mason-style of education.  (I say loosely because, though we do most of our learning with living books and do art study, nature study, narration, and copywork, I'm not a purist.) Charlotte recommended that copywork begin with learning the proper way to write letters and naturally  progress into short sentences.

I've found copywork to be tedious for my littler ones.  When we used Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons, we always skipped the writing activity at the end of the lesson because my kids were not ready to begin writing at the same time they were ready to begin reading. 

When they were ready to write, they usually began on their own to write their name or other words on the pictures they were coloring.  One of our favorite resources was the ABC Preschool series by Rod and Staff which is actually on a kindergarten level. Each of these fun workbooks gave practice in coloring neatly, writing letters,  tracing lines, and writing the child's name.

We didn't begin formal copywork until Gavin was in second grade (age 6-7) and we didn't do it on a regular basis until he was in third grade (age 7-8).  We have used  the copybooks by Memoria Press. On each page, the child writes a scripture or poem (length depends on the level of the book) and draws a picture to  accompany it.   We have also used A Reason For Handwriting which is similar, but is also more colorful and probably more kid-friendly.  Now we simply use a copywork folder. 

Each child is different, but  if your child is bored with writing the alphabet and ready to move on to copywork, seize the opportunity to find something she will love to engage her mind in! 

Princess