Monday, February 23, 2009

Their Mama

There are days when I’m not proud of myself. For me, Mondays and Tuesdays are usually good days. Family together time without the stress of having to handle it all alone leaves me refreshed. I’m ready to start the week and its responsibilities with a cheerful attitude come-what-may. As the week wears away, so does my patience. I’m snappy. Little things bother me. My list of chores I want to do but can’t find the time for becomes a burden. I fuss at a child for spilling a drink. I’m grumpy at dinner. I’m annoyed by the stalling and I hurry the kids to bed. When I’m engulfed by the night-time silence, I begin to think. Is this how I want my kids to remember their childhood—and me?

I want my kids to know I love them and I’m sure they do. But do I make a daily effort to show them? I want to stop and give the needed hugs. I want to really listen when they tell me a story. When they ask to go out to play, I want to put myself in their shoes before I give an answer. I want to give correction gently.

I want my kids to remember I was there for them. I mean really there. Not just an, “I’m here for you,” but I want to be physically there with them. I want to limit all outside “me” activities. I want to recognize any “need” for a break as the selfishness that it is and fully realize that God’s place for me now is not out with friends—though that isn’t wrong in itself—but home with my family.

I want my children’s memories of their Mama to be happy ones. I want them to tell their children about my smiles, about the fun games we played inside when it was raining outside, about the "hotdog man" I made them for lunch, about the stories I told while they were taking baths.

I want them to look back and remember my compassion, my joy, my faithfulness.


  1. You're not the only one... I also wonder if I'm MENTALLY there with them! I know I'm physically with them 24 hrs a day, but I don't think I'm there emotionally and mentally. Its exhausting at times and I think sometimes we gotta give ourselves a break and KNOW that God can erase bad days from the kiddos memories and sometimes, I think its ok for the kids to know that not everyday is filled with fun and love and goodies.... they need to know that things aren't always pleasant and happy and that everyone struggles....but I do agree with you. I need to be more aware and available and...I need to pray more for my day of tasks with these munchkins. I don't pray enough for my day of parenting.... I pray for other things, but I don't think about that. I need to pray for my children and our day more often!

    Great post, as always!!

  2. This is a very profound post, as I can't agree more and have thought about it often!

    I think you hit the nail on the head.. and just being conscience of it will help us to make better choices when it comes to how we live with our kids...

    Many blessings!

  3. Oh my...this is why I love to read your blog. It helps to feel "normal." I often find myself in the situation of reflecting on our day and not being pleased with myself. I really beat myself up sometimes, while I am not excusing a bad attitude, it is nice to know that I am not the only one. In all of this I find God tapping me on the shoulder reminding me to refocus and put Him first, because without Him my days would ALL be bad ones. Thanks for sharing...

  4. I agree with your blog for the most part, but I don't think taking some time for yourself once in a while is selfish. You are no good to your kids if you are burnt out. I don't mean going out with your friends all the time, but once a month or even a few times a year will not hurt your kids and will help your mental state. Even if it is leaving the kids with your husband for an hour while you meet a friend for lunch. Your children should be the most important people in your life, but don't forget you are important too!

  5. While I'm not saying doing things for myself are WRONG, I do believe that the current trend of "me time" is selfish in its root. To say, I can't be a good mother if I don't have time to myself is not really true. God teaches us to die to self, to use self-control, even when things are not easy. I can't say I'm grumpy because I haven't been able to do something for me because God has said that ME is to die and live for Him. Since right now, He has given me little children, I must die to my desires and pour myself into what he has given me to do.

  6. Love this post. I want my daughter to remember me that way, too. I'm hoping she will, but there are times when I am on the computer too much or get annoyed with little things I should just take care of. I'm not so much into the "me" time either. Some moms call "me" time going out for a movie once a month. Some moms take it to the extreme of working 40 hours a week and saying "I NEED that. If I didn't have that I'd be no good for my family." Some of those women are my friends, and I love them, but that is not how I feel personally. I work part-time and miss my sweet daughter while I'm gone!

  7. I was thinking just the same thing a few nights ago. I was frayed on the edges and my one year old was clueless why. After putting him to bed, I thought this isn't the mother I want my son to know. It is so hard. No one tells you how hard it is to be all you can be for your kids and still keep it together. It being everything! Thanks for sharing and be honest. Makes it easier for us first time moms!


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